life & progress & tears

December 15, 2013

Things have been going well lately!  It hasn't been that long since I updated and I am happy to say that the scale has gone down once more!

I've been feeling really great lately!  I have a lot of energy, going up and down stairs is easier, my knee doesn't hurt nearly as much as it used to and I feel that my overall health is in good condition.  I didn't have my three month checkup with my surgeon because, quite frankly, life has been busy.  Like, super busy.  I'm in school full time online and it takes up several hours of my time every night.  Don't get me wrong, I love it!  I'm so excited that I'm in classes that are Education based and not taking pilly-dilly pre-requisite classes.  Also, working full time and going to the gym take up a good bit of time.  I am happy, I'm loving life, I feel so healthy and happy!

Working out with Gene The Personal Trainer has been going great!  Ben was out of town last week, it was my first week of major based classes (hence the busy schedule) and I didn't work out because I was feeling pretty under the weather.  I hadn't really thought about getting on the scale since I just did not too long ago, but something crazy  happened this morning.  I woke up, stretched, and I could feel my ribs.  Not just feel them, but they were jutting out and I could feel them.  It doesn't sound like much, but I just knew that I was smaller.  So I went to get on the scale and weigh myself:  minus 68.5.  I had to get off the scale and get back on just to make sure.

Looking at that, I almost can't believe my eyes myself.  I've been working hard and it's been paying off!  I still have such a long way to go, but hopefully by my birthday I will be into the one-hundred-something category and can start looking for wedding dresses!

So many times I've heard the doctor and other gastric bypass patient's say that my hair will eventually start falling out, specifically around the 3-month mark.  Around 12 weeks I started noticing some shedding a little more than normal.  The past two weeks it has been coming out in clumps at an alarming rate.  I took a shower this morning and more hair came out in the shower than ever before.  Then, when I was blow drying my hair, I would have to stop and clean my brush every couple of minutes because it was just full of hair.  When I finished blow drying my hair, there was just hair EVERY where.  I started feeling my hair and my scalp and it felt so thin.  I've always had thick hair, so it was really upsetting!  I don't want to be so vain, but I started crying to Ben about how thin my hair felt.  He assured me that it looked and felt thick, ha!  So after we had lunch, we ventured out into the freezing (literally) cold weather so I could stock up on more vitamins.

Let me just tell you, those vitamins are BIG.  They suck, basically.  The chewables I had to take for the first three months after surgery were a million times worse, so I'm not really complaining.  But anyone who takes a multi-vitamin obviously knows that they are huge horse pills.  The calcium are also huge and have a funky taste to them.  By the way, I have to specifically take Calcium Citrate and it is like THE hardest thing to find in the stores.  I had to look on the vitamin shelf in CVS for almost 20 minutes.  Totally uncalled for.  I don't know what the difference is between Calcium (aka calcium carbonate) and Calcium Citrate, but they are in two completely opposite places in the vitamin section.  Totally stupid. And the Biotin, obviously, is for my crazy hair loss.

Overall, everything is great!  I'm looking forward to Christmas and NYE in Nashville!  But I'm sure I'll talk to y'all again before that.  If not, Merry Christmas!

SW:  311
CW:  242.5
-68.5 lbs

alive & well

December 6, 2013

Hey my friends!  Sorry I've been MIA lately-  things have been wonderfully crazy.  Okay, well, mostly wonderful.  I think I had made it to the -60 lb mark in my last post, but if not then YAY!  I made it to -60!  -61 now, to be exact.  I need to take my measurements again though because Gene The Personal Trainer does NOT mess around.  He's had me doing stuff on my own while he's out of town and holy moly, it is hard stuff!  But I feel great!

We've been wedding planning, working out and let me tell you... Thanksgiving was terrific but I just about carbed myself to death.  So now I am back on a strict protein heavy diet.  I am in NO way a fitness expert, but I've started following a lot of fitness people on Instagram to try and get tips.  With the wedding budget getting tighter at the beginning of the year (as far as saving as much as possible goes), I don't know that I will be able to continue with Gene after my three months are up.  Which makes me sad... BUT.  I've already learned so much.  So I will be in a better place to workout alone when that time comes.

Also, I noticed in the mirror the other day while lifting weights that my legs are significantly smaller but full of jelly, sort of like Santa's belly.  (har har har).   I need those bad boys to be TONED UP.  I don't even care if my arms have "bat wings" when I'm done, because I know they will look smaller.  But jelly legs are not going to be acceptable for bathing suit season OR for Ben to pull the garter off at the wedding reception.  We need nice and toned, so I need to tell Gene The Personal Trainer as soon as possible.

The other day I was working out alone and kept saying out loud, "wedding dress!  wedding dress!  wedding dress!"  I'm SURE the men around me working out thought I was bonkers nutso, but whatever dudes.  They don't understand.

With Christmas coming up, I've got to make sure I stay on my protein heavy diet.  There are a lot of fruits & veggies I've been eating that I had NO idea where chock FULL of carbs and zero protein.  Examples:  apples and carrots-  two of my favorites!  I need to go back to the book they gave me at my nutrition class and reference what they list as the best protein/food to eat.

Ok, I should probably get back to work now... I hope you all are doing GREAT!  I feel great and as soon as I take my measurements, I will post them!  

SW:  311
CW: 250
-61 lbs

I can't feel my arms.

November 18, 2013

Honestly, I'm not sure how I cooked dinner.
Or put my lunches together for the next week.
Or even drove home for that matter.

Remember my spaghetti noodle legs from last week?  I have spaghetti noodle arms tonight.  Gene The Personal Trainer kicked my butt tonight.

Biceps, triceps, abs, repeat.
Biceps, triceps, abs, repeat.
Biceps, triceps, abs, repeat.
Row 500 meters as a cool down.

Let me just tell you that this was the hardest workout yet.  I'm not sure if I thought they would get easier, but boy was I wrong.  I was sweating and struggling the whole time.  Just when I feel like I can't go on anymore, Gene The Personal Trainer always has these unintentional words of wisdom.  Last week he told me I was stronger than I thought, which really motivated me.  Tonight he told me that he could already see some definition in my arms.  Ten more dead lifts?  You got it!

And also, not to mention that I am DOWN 60 LBS.  That's right, minus 60.  And I feel great!  So I'm going to keep meeting with Gene (duh) and keep busting my butt doing those dead lifts.  And hopefully, the scale will continue to go down.

Happy, happy, happy.

SW:  311
CW:  251
-60 lbs

former athlete I am not.

November 12, 2013

My legs are jelly.  The gym where I work out is two levels and coming down those stairs made me finally understand the term "spaghetti legs."  But Gene The Personal Trainer is doing a fabulous job.  He had me doing weights, squats, push ups, dead lifts, etc... and rowing 200m on the rowing machine in between all of them!  It was tough today, but man I felt so good when I was done.

When I was doing box sits holding 25 lbs in each hand (I thought I was going to die, just FYI), Gene asked me if I, quote, "had an athletic background."   I almost choked on my laughter.  Let's just take a jog (because I can successfully do that now) down memory lane.

Dance-  cried every time my mom left me, quit.
Dance again-  the spins made me dizzy and the instructor was mean, quit.
Softball-  never tried because I was certain I'd get hit in the head and die.
Gymnastics-  scared of the pummel horse, quit.
Clogging- never tried because I didn't like the outfits.
P.E.-  was always the worst in the physical fitness tests, so by high school I was skipping.  aka, quit.
Twirling-  stuck with it for a few years, but there was really no physical exercise required, only hand eye coordination.  eventually quit.

So to answer Gene's question:   uuuuuhhhhh NO.  But I will definitely take the compliment.

I haven't weighed myself.  I don't want to get discouraged with the whole "muscle weighs more than fat" thing.  Gene keeps telling me to pay more attention to how my body looks and how my clothes fit rather than a number on the scale, but I just want the scale to GO.DOWN.  I plan on weighing tomorrow, so we will see.  I really like Gene.  He's funny, he pushes me (but not too hard) and he encourages me.  And he makes my legs feel like spaghetti jelly.

SW: 311
CW:  ???
we'll see.

personal trainers and running.

November 8, 2013

So I got a personal trainer.  His name is Gene and he is pretty fantastic.  I had my first session with him last night and felt really good afterwards.  He had me do four different stations of exercises:  kettle bell raises, behind the head triceps raises, mountain climbers, and 20 lb ball raises.  I'm SURE there are more technical, legit terms for all of those, but that's what I did.  After two epic fails of mountain climbers, he changed it to throwing the 20 lb ball at the wall and catching it as fast as possible.  I don't know about y'all, but 20 lbs is dang heavy.  We did each of those sections four times.  

He also had me do dead lifts with kettle bells.  We started at 25 lbs and went all the way up to 65 lbs.  I was SHOCKED with myself.  Impressed, shocked, proud, etc... I totally enjoyed the experience and felt amazing working out instead of sitting on the couch.  And Gene was supportive and totally understood my personality and feisty attitude.  

Not only did I handle the PT session well last night, but Gene gave me a regimen to follow when we weren't working together.  He told me to work on some machines (standing machines, NOT sitting machines) and he told me to do the track, alternating laps jogging and walking.  When he first said that, I thought there was no way I could jog a whole lap without passing out or dying.  But tonight, I did exactly what he said:  walked a lap, jogged a lap.  I did that for 6 laps, which is half a mile.  Which if you ask me is a damn good start for someone who has never ran anywhere.  I was so proud of myself for jogging those laps without stopping.  Ben was right there with me the whole way, pushing me and encouraging me and handing me water.  I think I could have done a whole mile just fine, but my knee started to hurt and I didn't want to push myself and not be able to work out later.  So Ben ran a few more laps and I did some kettle bell raises on my own, then cooled down.

For anyone who didn't see it, this was my Facebook status last night.  It sums up how I feel exactly.

I'm just so extremely thankful.  I don't think I ever gave myself enough credit for the things I could do.  I feel amazing.  Jogging tonight, I could see myself in the glass wall above the pool and I wasn't upset about what I saw.  I was confident and knew that one day I'd be able to run without stopping or walking in between.  There really is something about working out the changes your outlook, puts you in a good mood and makes you feel great.  And I just can't wait to keep going.

drop it like it's (not) hot.

November 6, 2013

Well hey there, how y'all doin!  (sometimes, in real life, I say that.  out loud.)

It's been a little bit since I've updated on my progress because, well... I hadn't really had any.  In all honesty,  I wasn't eating the best stuff.  It was still healthy, it was just more carbs than I should've been.  I tried like, 1/4 of a bagel one day and everything was fine, so I convinced myself I was all clear to have bread.  Aaaand wrong again.  The first time I had bread was at Subway on a freaking delicious sandwich.  It was like all my dreams had come true.  Okay well when we got home, I went into a straight up carb coma.  I couldn't stay awake to save my life!  So yeah, I guess the doctor wasn't lying when he said no bread ever.

The second time I thought I was ok to have bread was this past weekend at Ben's parents house.  My future mother in law made this delicious dinner with veggies and all kinds of healthy stuff.  So I figured having one tiny roll would be okay.  Nope.  Carb coma in full effect right on my future mother in law's couch.  For like two hours.  So needless to say:  LESSON LEARNED.  Which sucks because I luh-huh-huh-hoooooooooove bread.  Just another adjustment I will need to make.

I've also been promising a progress picture in my last couple of posts, so in case you missed it on Facebook, Twitter or IG, here is my latest progress picture.

I never, in a million trillion years, thought I would ever share my weight with people.  Ben, the one I am going to share the rest of my life with, never knew my weight until after surgery.  I was so ashamed.  And I could look at this picture all day long and still never figure out how it got to that point.  I mean, I KNOW how it got to that point because I was eating and sitting on the couch, but I just never saw myself as that size in the mirror.  But, those days are over now.  And actually, since I took this picture, I've lost 5.5 more pounds, so yay me.
Another venture I am taking on (along with work and school and wedding planning) is working with a personal trainer.  I kind of felt like Sami when I signed up for the personal trainer last night.  Like, what did I just get myself into?  It all started when I went to the gym like a good girl for basically every day in September.  Brett, the fitness manager at Gold's, emailed me and said he wanted to give me a free session as a thank you for being a dedicated member.  I've been interested in having a PT for a while, so I said why not.  Let me tell you... I went last night and he kicked my ASS.  My legs and arms are so sore today... I love it!  I was sweating and really feeling like I was moving and changing my body.  So I signed up for 3 months of personal training with some guy named Gene.  Apparently, Brett the fitness manager is super expensive and way out of my personal budget.  But I really liked him, told him I wanted someone to push me and kick my butt into a fantastic body, and he said Gene was my guy.  So tomorrow, me and Gene are going to get this ball rolling. 

I'm also back to eating LOTS of yogurt, almonds, protein shakes, and lean meat.  I am just trying. Some days are easy and some days are a struggle.  Last week I had a massive emotional breakdown to Ben because I felt so alone, like I had no one who TRULY understood what I was going through on a day-by-day, hour-by-hour basis.  So we are going to start attending the monthly support group meetings.  I had totally forgotten that they have those, probably because I didn't think I would need them.  Turns out, a little support would probably go a long way.
This is still the biggest blessing in my life.  I am really looking forward to the personal trainer and seeing how much my body changes in the next three months.  I gotta drop that fat, because it's so not hot.
SW:  311
CW:  256
-55 lbs

working out & shopping.

October 23, 2013

I haven't been to the gym in forever.  Well, like two weeks.  I've walked around the neighborhood and ran in place in the living room, but I haven't been to the gym.  Ben joined and has been going like crazy, and he's even lost 25 lbs!  SO proud of him.  My sweet future mother-in-law took me shopping on Sunday and bought me several pieces of "transition" clothing from Lane Bryant.  I'm still in plus sizes, but my size has gone down tremendously.  Before I tried anything on, Martha told me that for every 10 lbs you lose, you would go down a clothing size.  I didn't believe it, but it's true!  I really went down about 5 sizes.  It was unbelievable how different and good I felt trying on clothes, rather than discouraged and frustrated.  So now I have a few sweaters, an awesome sweater dress, and a few shirts to wear throughout the cold weather until I lose another significant amount of weight and have to shop again.  I have tons of pants in my closet that will eventually fit, so we just got shirts and warm stuff.  Martha is such a blessing in my life!  She's always supportive and encouraging and I couldn't be more grateful for her.

So, back to my original point:  I am going back to the gym.  Tonight.  We have a meeting with a potential wedding photographer and after that I am going to sweat it out!  I gotta get to sweating for the wedding!  (Isn't that just so clever... I want a shirt that says that!  Hello, etsy...)

Still holding tight at 50 pounds lost.  We went to Tuscaloosa and did LOTS of walking over the weekend, so I thought I might drop a couple more pounds.  But that's okay.  Slow and steady wins the race.
SW:  311
CW:  261
- 50 lbs

minus 50.

October 18, 2013

On Monday I will be 9 weeks post surgery.  Some days, I still can't believe it.  It has been the biggest blessing in my life.  I feel better in so many ways-  my health, my confidence, my activity level...
And today I reached my biggest milestone yet:

minus 50 lbs.
I'm so happy and proud of myself.  I did have my first episode of dumping syndrome over the weekend and it was way worse than they described.  You wouldn't think chicken wings would be something you could eat post gastric bypass, but as long as they are baked or smoked they are fine.  And actually a really good source of protein as long as you watch the kind of sauce put on them.  So not thinking straight, we went to Hooters for some chicken wings.  ROOKIE MISTAKE.  They fry theirs and let me tell you, it TORE ME UP.  I was extremely dizzy, nauseated, sweating and felt like I was going to pass out.  Nothing I did helped, either.  It lasted for about 5 hours-  the most miserable 5 hours I can remember.
I'm going to post some pictures soon.  I need to be better about doing that, but the last picture I posted was in the 280's, so I'm excited to put them all side by side and see the difference!  Also, we are going to the Alabama game in Tuscaloosa tomorrow and I can't wait to see the difference of how I fit in the stadium seats.  Before, we've been super crunched in there.  Mostly because they make those "seats" on the benches SUPER small to fit as many people as possible, but also because I was so big!  I would have to squeeze my arms in front of me to make sure it wasn't cramping anyone else.
50 lbs... wow.  What a feeling.  Seeing that scale this morning brightened my whole day.  I'm loving life so much!
SW: 311
CW: 261
-50 lbs

weak & strong

October 10, 2013

Before surgery, I was a huge soft drink lover.  We always kept them in the house and I would have at least two a day.  So lately, especially during PMS week, I have been craving cokes and diet cokes like crazy.  I had some MAJOR moments of weakness the past several days.  I kept trying to convince myself that one sip of a coke wouldn't hurt me.  Over and over again, I would try to find some way in my mind to make it okay.  But, duh!  It isn't okay and it wouldn't have been.  It would've probably made me sick from the sugar, and maybe even given me a stomach ulcer.  Totally not worth it.  I always ended up on sane side of things, knowing I couldn't drink any soft drinks and knowing that I didn't want to.  The point is to be HEALTHY!  I can honestly say that those moments of weakness were some of the hardest and emotionally painful moments I've had in my life.  I know that sounds crazy and exaggerated, but it is the 100% truth. And definitely the most difficult time I've had since surgery.

But here's where the strong part comes in:  I'm strong.  Stronger than I ever thought I could be.  And I have the surgery to thank for that.  I'm literally, emotionally, & mentally stronger.  And I proved that to myself when I didn't take a drink of those terrible, no good cokes.

My Gastric Bypass Story Pt. 3: Surgery Time

October 4, 2013

The days leading up to surgery were indescribable.  I was feeling so many emotions-  anxious, nervous, hesitant, curious, scared, hopeful, and ready.  I kept telling myself I was ready to do this, ready to change.  I had mentally prepared myself for all of the changes I had to make, but something inside me still couldn't believe I was actually going to have this surgery.

I got my surgery date five days before surgery and had to immediately go on a liquid diet.  Sugar free popsicles, tomato soup, sugar free jello/pudding, etc... I was supposed to do it for 14 days, but since I needed to have my surgery in August (for work purposes), they said five days would be fine.  I was weak and irritable by the time the week was over.  I'm pretty sure I yelled at a Best Buy employee and embarrassed Ben, but I couldn't help it.  I WAS HUNGRY.

My surgery was scheduled for Monday, so on Sunday I had to do clear liquids only:  broth, popsicles, tea, water, etc...  At 5:00 I also had to mix a bottle of Miralax with Gatorade and drink it to do the dreaded bowel cleanse.  It wasn't as bad as I thought.  Since I had been on liquids for the past several days, there wasn't really that much left in my system.  So I ran to the bathroom for several hours, letting out little by little, and finally was able to go to sleep.

Monday morning, Ben and I woke up at 4:00 am to get ready to go to the hospital.  I had to shower with the special pre-surgery antibiotic soap before we left and finish packing my bags for the two nights I would have to stay.  The car ride to the hospital was scary.  It was still pitch black outside and I started to feel panicky.  Ben did his best to console me, but I was so nervous.  More nervous than I'd ever been in my entire life.  This was my first surgery in my entire life. I was scared to death.

We finally got to the hospital, I paid my deductible and went into get registered for surgery.  Ben waited in the waiting room for his mom and my parents to arrive.  Ben's mom arrived before my parents and came in to see me just as the nurse was done taking my vitals and telling me everything they were going to do.  I was trying so hard not to become emotional.  The nurse kept saying to me, "I just want you to know that we will take great care of you and give you the best care possible."  By the third time she said it, right as Martha walked in, I started crying.  And as soon as I saw Martha, I started crying even harder.  All of the emotion I had held in about the surgery came pouring out.  Martha prayed over me, just as my parents and Ben had done the night before, and I knew that I was truly in God's hands.

My parents came in next and I started to cry again.  I hated myself for crying in front of them, because I knew the more I seemed scared, the more they would worry.  I said my "see you laters" to my parents, Martha and Ben and was taken to the holding area.  The only way I know how to describe how I felt in the holding area was shock.  I kept staring at everything, emotionless, reminding myself that they do this all the time.  It seemed like eternity until someone came to start my IV's and even longer until the doctor came by.  He was perky and in a good mood, which made me feel good.  They started my IV and I was left alone again for a while.  I noticed this painting above the nurses station that said, "Some Must Watch While Others Sleep."  I looked to my right and there it was again on the wall, this time with paintings of angels around it.  And again on the left wall, with more angels.  I have never felt more comforted by God than when I saw that quote.  That's when I knew, God has me and everything is going to be fine.

The nurse anesthetist came and gave me a little push of Versed into my IV to relax me.  I'm sure it did relax me a little bit, but I did NOT feel relaxed.  It must have worked because I don't really remember being pushed to the operating room.  I remember suddenly being there and the CRNA telling me to "scoot"  from the rolling bed to the OR table.  The OR was like nothing I'd ever seen:  bright white and super clean.  Once I got on the OR table, the nurse said she was going to put a pillow under my head.  And that it wouldn't feel comfortable but that's how it needed to be.

The last thing I remember is saying, "I'm about to have a panic attack, I'm about to have a panic attack, I'm about to have a pa..."

And what seemed like just a few minutes later, I was waking up.

PMS post Gastric Bypass.

October 2, 2013

Lately, I'm sure Ben has wanted to kill me.  Between wedding planning and PMS, I have been a serious B-I-T-C-H.  Let's just go ahead and take wedding planning out of that equation, because it's definitely just the post surgery PMS.

We all know what happens when we have PMS.  We want a coke and a Hershey's- or some other delicious, super unhealthy food- to satisfy our womanly craving.  I CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT.  I have been on a roller coaster of emotions for the past week, and still not started my period FYI.  I've felt discouraged, depressed, super angry, extremely irritable and sometimes all of the above at once.  It hasn't been pretty.

PLUS. Up until this morning, I'd hit a plateau.  I can't even.

I need to figure out what I can eat/drink/do to satisfy my PMS cravings/feelings.  Maybe it's partly (or mostly) mental, but some days I have just felt downright miserable.  Like I was being held in a torturous PMS prison hell.  (too dramatic?)

So that's why I haven't updated in a week or so.  I didn't think y'all wanted to hear me complain and whine about all of this, even though I'm pretty sure that's what I just did.

I did take a leap of faith on Saturday and tried lean ground beef for the first time since surgery.  I was really worried it would be too heavy on my stomach, but I tolerated it just fine!  I was so happy.  It tasted different than I remembered.  It's been over two months since I've had hamburger meat and it just tasted so bland.  I even put a whole packet of taco seasoning in the mix.  Maybe I just need to remember my awesome mixture of spices and seasonings I used in the past to make it yummy.  Or maybe it just isn't as good as I always thought...

The scale did move this morning, but only 1.5 lbs.  After being stuck at 273.0 for a week, I'm ready to see it drop like, 10 lbs!  Every morning, when 273.0 popped up on the scale, I would lightly bang my head against the wall. (again, dramatic)

I'm working on it.  Day by day.  It's a struggle and it's amazing at the same time.  Every time I turn around I'm discovering something new-  food, a workout, a motivation.  But one thing's for sure, I'm not giving up.

SW:  311
CW:  271.5
-1.5 since last update
+4.5 from greatest loss (go away!)
-39.5 lbs

Workout Moves in the Pool

September 25, 2013

The scale has gone up.  Not much, but still.  I'm not going to get discouraged, because I can't think of a single thing I've eaten that I wasn't supposed to.  I blame PMS.  Not to mention I've been in very snappy, terrible moods lately and having crazy cravings.  Definitely PMS.   (don't even ask me if I'm pregnant.  because just no.)

I did a killer workout in the pool the other night.  I felt pretty good about it.  I do realize the scale could be going up because muscle weighs more than fat, but I just need to see the scale going down down down.  I should also be taking my measurements, but I'm not.  I doubt we even have a measuring tape in the house.  (I act like they are hard to find at the store or something.)

So anyway, not sure how many of you workout in the pool, but I thought I'd list the moves I do for anyone interested.  I can definitely feel the burn in my arms, but I'm trying to find ways to feel the burn in my legs. 

meighan's pool workout
supplies you need:
water weights
I currently used the yellow because they are beginner.
You can really feel the resistance with them though.
pool noodle
any old pool noodle will do.
The gym I go to has a room chock full of all these materials.  If you are wanting to do a pool workout and the gym/pool doesn't provide them, the weights are about $30 on amazon and they have a million different kinds.  And we all know a pool noodle is like, a dollar.
Warm Up:  walk up and down the lane of the pool, circling or pushing arms through water for light resistance.  I do this 1-2 times.
Arm Raise:  with weights, hold your hands by your side.  for 45 seconds, raise arms up and down.  break for 15 seconds and repeat twice.
Knee Lifts:  while holding weights down, lift your knees one at a time. start slow and steadily increase your speed.
Jumping Jacks:  with weights, hold your hands by your side to begin.  start doing traditional jumping jack moves, but only bring your arms to right below the surface of the water for good resistance.  do this 45 seconds, rest 15, and repeat twice.

Running in Place:  with weights, run in place as hard as you can for 45 seconds.  rest 15, repeat twice.
Side Steps:  basically a slow jumping jack, take side steps down the lane of the pool, raising your arms with every step.
Leg Lifts:  put the noodle under one foot, raise knee and press foot back down to the bottom.  do for 45 seconds, rest 15, alternate legs, and repeat twice.
Leg Raise:  with the noodle still under your foot, let the noodle raise your leg to the side and then pull it back down to meet your other leg.  you should feel a good bit of resistance.
Push Ups:  hold the sides of the pool ladder and keep your body straight and tight.  pull in and push back, like you were doing a push up.  the resistance going both ways is great.

I'm a pisces and LOVE being in the water, so these are really great exercises for me to do!  I also have a knee injury, so these water workouts help tremendously.  I will be trying extra hard to get these PMS pounds off!

SW: 311
CW: 274.5
+6 since last update (boo!)

the struggle & the scale

September 23, 2013

Shame on me.  My loyal readers (riiight) are waiting for updates and I'm over here playing Candy Crush like a maniac.  Level 23 had me for a WHILE, but I finally bought enough lollipop hammers to just smash the rest of the jelly. That game is addicting, BTW.

I keep forgetting I had surgery.  My wounds are healed, I am done with my Heparin shots, and I keep forgetting that just five weeks ago today I had surgery.

For so many years, I tried to change my lifestyle with just a snap of my fingers, knowing it was unrealistic and stupid and I'd be down at the coke machine before the end of the day, swearing I'd try again tomorrow.  Obviously it didn't get me anywhere other than a miserable 311 pounds.  God that makes me cringe.  I never saw myself that big.  I know people say that, but I really didn't.  I'm not stupid, I knew I was big.  But even now, just five weeks later, I look at pictures and don't know that person.  And I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself.  I keep forgetting I had surgery.

I know I'm not used to all the changes.  Lately, I've been wanting the old, bad food a lot more.  It's a struggle.  They kept telling me at the seminars that it wouldn't be easy, but I underestimated what they were saying.  IT.IS.HARD.  I don't want to eat yogurt sometimes.  I want to walk to McDonald's and get a 10 piece nuggets and a huge coke.  But the best part of the struggle is knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that I can.not do that.  It will make me sick, stretch my pouch and make the scale go up-  none of which I am a fan.

So my head is getting used to these changes, slowly but surely.  I've even eaten out a couple more times since the great Ruby Tuesday vomiting incident.  Ben and I had Zoe's Kitchen yesterday and I had something they call the "Under 500 Protein Power Plate."  They make it sound so interesting, yet it's grilled chicken on top of their mayo-less slaw.  It was good with a little side of salsa, but I felt a bit more full than I'd like after we ate.  I also had a Jimmy John's Un-wich today with just turkey and tomatoes.  (if you've never had an Un-wich, it's just a lettuce wrap.)  The lettuce made me feel gassy almost immediately, so I ate the turkey out of it and felt pretty satisfied.

So all in all, things are going well.  I'm still doing water aerobics.  It's really just me with the pool weights and a noodle making up workouts as I go.  But hey!  It seems to be working, because the scale is dropping.

Which reminds me... I almost forgot to tell y'all that I've lost 42.5 pounds.  In exactly five weeks.  The statement "that blows my mind" is such an understatement.  I'm so thankful for this surgery.  It is already changing my life in so many ways.  And there is so much more to come.

SW:  311
CW:  268.5
-42.5 lbs

shock & vom

September 18, 2013

I've been trying to update this thing and I find myself either too tired or just too busy.  But fear not, I am here.  Ben joined the gym with me and we've been working out together, which I love.  I have been doing the pool more because it doesn't hurt my knee like the machines do.  The past few days I've really been feeling the fatigue they told me would come between weeks 2-4.  I'm on my 4th post op week, so I guess that still counts.  Nevertheless, I'm taking B12 everyday and it doesn't even really do anything for me.

I'm still taking the blood thinner shots.  I've become quite the professional at giving myself shots.  Also, if anyone else needs a shot, I'm your gal.  Not real sure why you wouldn't just get one from the doctor, but hey, never hurts to offer.

I weighed myself over the weekend to find that I had dropped FIVE POUNDS.  I stood in the bathroom, jaw dropped & in total shock, for like 5 minutes.  It's just coming off so fast!  Some days are weird.  I forget that I had this surgery, yet still make all the necessary changes.  I was very quickly reminded of my surgery and just how small my stomach is on Sunday night when Ben and I went out to dinner for the first time since surgery.

I thought really long and hard about what I could eat.  We looked at the nutritional values for all the meals at Ruby Tuesdays before we went, so I was prepared and knew what I needed to order.  The hickory bourbon salmon sounded amazing and met all of my needed criteria, so I was pretty excited!  I should've been thinking a little bit clearer though, because I also ordered steamed broccoli.  I thought since it said "steamed" it would be soft and totally fine for my stomach.

A few minutes into the meal, I had to excuse myself.  Good thing I got up when I did, because the next thing I know I am vomiting in the Ruby Tuesday's bathroom.  (If you couldn't tell, I like to keep it super classy.)  Throwing up is a totally new feeling since surgery.  It feels as though you have this huge amount in your stomach that needs to come up, but it was really just the few bites I had taken.  And once they came up, I didn't feel any better.  I was still nauseated and had stabbing pains in my pouch, I'm sure from the broccoli trying to pass through and not being able to.  The hole from my stomach to my intestines is only the size of a dime, so I know that broccoli didn't make it through.  Even yesterday I still felt a little queasy and didn't have an appetite for any food.  The bariatric coordinator warned me about this happening, but it still really sucked.
I'm really excited to have reach the 30 pound mark!  20 more until 50 pounds gone forever.  I'm hoping to lose those 20 pounds in the next month so Ben and I can take engagement pictures!  So much exciting stuff happening at once!
SW: 311
CW: 278.5

My Gastric Bypass Story Pt. 2: Getting Insurance to Pay

September 11, 2013

three year weight documentation
The first thing I did was go back through all the doctors I've seen in the past three years and get ALL of their office notes.  Unfortunately, most of them did not have my weight documented.  I needed one from 2010, 2011, & 2012.  I was able to find weight documented office notes from 2009, 2011 and 2012, but not 2010.  Luckily, the insurance allows you to send in a full body picture for only one year instead of an office note.  I had a lot of panic and anxiety over finding all of this, but luckily it worked out.
seven month doctor supervised visits

I have blue cross insurance and they had SO many requirements to be approved. In January, I started the insurance required monthly appointments with my primary care physician, Dr. Han.  He was so supportive and always made sure that any issue I had was taken care of.  On my first visit with him for surgery, I also found out I had asthma.  Who knew?  A few visits later I found out I was clenching my jaw from stress.  He helped me through so much.  So towards the end of every month I would go see Dr. Han.  I couldn't miss an appointment or I had to start counting the months all over again.  Dr. Han would weigh me, check my blood pressure, make sure I was still following my chosen diet plan, calculate my BMI, and sign off on my progress. I had to do this for SEVEN months straight.  I'm not sure if the insurance is trying to trick you or not, but they will tell you it's a "6 month doctor supervised weight loss program."  Okay, well it is- BUT.  The first appointment only counts as a consultation.  So after the first visit, you have six more to go.  Tricky tricky! At the end of July, I was finally done with all my visits and had been given the clearance for surgery.  What I thought would be the longest seven months of my life turned out to be the quickest.  I can't even explain how fast it went by.

sleep study(ies)
Another crazy part of going through this process is having a sleep study.  I found a place close to my house that did these and luckily they did them on the weekend.  So I went sometime in June after work on a Friday and was put in a room that looked like a hotel room.  They hooked me up to what seemed like hundreds of cords and probes.  My legs, chest, face, neck and head were all covered in cords hooked to a machine that would read everything from my leg movements at night to when I stopped breathing and for how long.  Apparently, when you stop breathing due to sleep apnea,  you kick your legs like your struggling.  This scared me!  I was sure there was no way I did that in my sleep.  Wrong again.  I had mild sleep apnea, I did stop breathing a few times throughout the night and I did kick my legs while struggling for air.  I was shocked!  (I'm still not convinced this info is accurate, because how can you even sleep normally while hooked up to all those cords?!)  So I stayed until Saturday morning around 6:00 when they came in, unplugged me and told me I could go home.  They also gave me a special formula for getting the probe goop out of my hair when I got home, which was NO easy task.
A few weeks later is when I got the results about having the mild sleep apnea, kicking, etc... They told me I needed to come back in for a CPAP study.  Surely they were kidding... Nope, wrong again.  So I scheduled it for another Friday a couple of weeks out.  Same process-  cords and probes all over- with the added bonus of a CPAP mask.  Again, getting a good night's rest with all that is just about impossible.  But they said I slept much better and should feel much more energized from having a lot more oxygen during the night.  And I did.  I was advised to purchase and wear a CPAP until surgery, which I also did.  (Ben wears one, so you can imagine that we were like, the sexiest couple ever.  Getting into bed with our CPAP's on at night... totally hot.)  Before surgery, I had to let the doctor check my CPAP compliance to make sure I really was wearing it at night.  Once they approved my compliance, I checked the CPAP off my list.
psychiatric evaluation
A lot of my friends weren't sure I was going to make it through this portion... I mean, I CAN be kind of crazy.  When I called to set up the appointment with the recommended Psychiatrist, they told me to mark at least six hours off my day for the eval.  Um, seriously?  So I took a day off work (coordinated with the day my dad had knee replacement surgery, so it worked out) and tried to get as much crazy out of my system as possible.  When I arrived at the office, I did the usual paperwork & copay combination.  I was surprised at how quickly they took me back, but it wasn't to see the doctor.  They put me in a room full of cubicles & snacks.  (not sure if that was some sort of trick to see if I would be tempted to eat or if that really was just where they kept their food.  Again, tricky tricky.)  I sat down only to be handed a huge (no literally, huge) stack of papers.  There were about 16 tests (with about 200 questions each) I had to take- all asking the same thing but wanting different kinds of answers.  Like: true/false, scale of 1-10, very true-mostly true-not true-never true, etc... The questions mostly consisted of things like, "do you see people that others cannot see?"  or "do you often want to harm yourself or others around you?"  or  "do you feel as though you have no self worth because you are overweight?"  Etc...
After the 16 tests, I had to look at an ink blob (yes they really make you do those) and write down what I saw.  Then I was given three pictures:  a boy sitting in a doorway of what looked like an old schoolhouse, a shadow of a man looking out a white window, and a boy putting together a model airplane.  I then had to write three sentences about each picture:  what happened before the picture was taken, what was happening in the picture, and what happened after the picture.  Then I had about five or six more small tests to take, asking about my diet and what information I knew about the surgery I was having.  NO WONDER they ask you to take up to six hours out of your day!  Doing all of that took me almost three hours!
Finally after finishing all of that, I had to wait on the staff to "score" my tests, which took about another hour.  After almost four hours of being in the office, I finally met with the Psychiatrist.  He GRILLED ME on everything from surgery to my relationship with Ben.  45 minutes later, he said he saw no red flags and would send my approval letter for surgery.  The insurance definitely does NOT make it easy on you.
support group/nutrition education class
A month out from surgery, I had to attend a mandatory support group.  They hold them once a month so that other patient's can come and share their struggles and successes and future patient's can see what they are in store for.  My insurance didn't require this, but my surgeon did.  They would not request approval from my insurance until I did these two last things.  After going to the support group, I was so excited about surgery.  Seeing people's before and after photo's and how far they'd come was amazing.  Hearing that their diabetes went away literally over night and they were able to stop taking their 15-20 pills a day was so inspiring to me.  I knew this would be me in ten years if I didn't have this surgery.  So if there was ever a moment when I was nervous or hesitant before, it all went away after this class.  Ben, of course, was with me and he was excited for me as well.  We were in this together and ready to get it over with.
The last thing I had to do was go to a four hour nutrition class.  (For anyone thinking of having this surgery, it requires a LOT of time away from work.  I'm so thankful my job was understanding and supportive of everything I needed to do!)  They talked about everything you could eat after surgery and everything you'd never be able to eat again.  I learned that I would have to take multi-vitamins twice a day, a calcium chewable three times a day, and B12 twice a week- FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.  I also learned that I would have to give myself blood thinner shots for 30 days after surgery to avoid getting a blood clot. (more on that debacle in Pt. 3)  I left the nutrition class, had all of my pre-surgery work up done, and went to play the waiting game with my insurance.  Those were also the slowest few days of my life.

the dreaded progress photo.

September 9, 2013

So when I started this blog, I wanted to be real.  I don't know what's worse, telling people your weight or showing people what you looked like at your worst.  Regardless, here are my progress pictures so far.

The left is the day after I came home from the hospital, so 3 days post op.  
The one on the right was last night.  

Here's to being real.


It's an extremely mutual feeling in our household that the weekends are the absolute hardest when it comes to eating.  Saturdays were for BBQ.  Or Cracker Barrel.  Sundays were pizza day.  Or Taco Bell night.  You get the picture.  So Saturday, even though Alabama wasn't playing, Ben had our friend Kenton over to watch all the games.  Ben bought some pre-made hot wings from Publix and just looking at them made my mouth water.  One of my dad's many specialties along with chili and spaghetti are definitely buffalo wings.  PEOPLE.  FOOTBALL SEASON=BUFFALO WINGS.  Needless to say, I was dying.

So I did a little googling and found this website chock full of recipes for gastric bypass patients. (hallelujah!)  So I found a buffalo chicken salad recipe.  Let me tell you how excited I was.  A kid in a candy store had nothing on me.  So we headed off to the store and bought all the supplies I needed:  canned chicken, buffalo sauce (extra mild as not to irritate the pouch), blue cheese, LF mayo, and Greek yogurt.  I got a little nervous because I don't like blue cheese, but I wanted to follow the recipe exactly so it would match the nutritional values the recipe gave me.

After whipping up the mixture, I popped it in the oven so it could be sort of like a dip.  When it was finally done, I was SO ready to taste it!

and it was disgusting.

I was SO disappointed!  It was the blue cheese!  I figured if I only put a teeny tiny bit in the recipe, it couldn't possibly be that bad.  I WAS WRONG.  It tasted like nothing but blue cheese.  Maybe the buffalo sauce wasn't hot enough to mask the blue cheese.  Whatever the case, I didn't eat it.  Just another gastric bypass lesson learned I guess.

Other than my buffalo chicken salad fail, the weekend was a success.  Ben joined the gym!  So excited for us to be doing this together.  The gym sucks, what can I say?  But I want to be toned up, not loosey goosey!  I even dropped some pounds.  Not bad for my three week surgery anniversary.

SW: 311
CW: 285
-26 lbs

good times & hard times

September 6, 2013

Last night was hard.  I went to the gym but was not feeling my workout.  Nothing seemed to be working.  The music wasn't right, the bike kept going into pause mode even though I was pedaling, and I just didn't feel that I had that much energy.  I wouldn't say I felt defeated, just not as motivated as usual.  I also spoke to a personal trainer about their rates- um, expensive- and I'm thinking about hiring one at some point.  I think I need to lose a significant amount of weight and then tighten up.  ...Right?  Truthfully, I don't know what the correct process is.  All I know is that I am doing 30 minutes 5 times a week like they said.

When I got home from my less than stellar workout, Ben was home from out of town and I was so glad to see him.  He's always so supportive and encouraging that it was difficult with him being gone-  even for just two nights.  I was in a good mood and we were watching football, but every single commercial was about food.  New Burger King fry burger.  New Ruby Tuesday Pretzel bun burger.  Dunkin Donuts breakfast steak griller.  Ice cold Pepsi.  Ice cold Coca-Cola.  And on and on and on... In that moment, I missed the bad food.  I wanted to get in the car and go through every drive-thru and gorge myself until I was sick (which I would be).  Even knowing how bad those foods were for me, I ate them for so long.  I'm so lucky to have Ben, truly.  He noticed I was upset, asked me to talk about it and we did.  I know these feelings are normal and I know I made the decision to have surgery- I don't regret it- but that doesn't mean it isn't hard sometimes. 

And I know it will get easier.  I keep forgetting that I'm less than 3 weeks out of surgery.  It seems like forever ago!  Monday will be 3 weeks officially that I had surgery.  That is such a small amount of time and I forget that I am still adjusting to everything.  This is where I really need to work on having more patience.  My nickname is Veruca for nothing.

I fell asleep feeling comforted and reassured that everything was going to be fine.  And when I woke up, the scale said I had lost another pound.  So all that worrying for nothing!  I should take the fact that my pants are literally falling off as a sign that things are going in the right direction... lol.
This weekend I have a meeting with a fundraising team for Leukemia & Lymphoma, and Ben and I are going to look at a wedding venue. Too many good things going on right now to not feel inspired and motivated!
SW:  311
CW:  286.5
-24.5 lbs

My Gastric Bypass Story Pt. 1

September 5, 2013

In December 2009, I started dating Ben.  I knew pretty much right away that he was the one.  He always loved me for who I was-  silly, crazy, tempermental, and overweight.  He continually told me how beautiful I was.  Somehow, from 2009 to December 2012, I had gained a significant amount of weight.  Probably about 40 pounds.  Not working out, never cooking and only eating food from a drive-thru will do that I guess.  We sat down one night on the porch and Ben asked me, very delicately, if I had ever considered lap-band.  I wasn't offended-  I knew he loved me and wanted the best for me.  It was during this conversation that I knew we would get married.  Ben said he wanted me to think about surgery for our future, as husband and wife and as parents.  He was telling me something I already knew:  I needed to change.  I had considered surgery before, so it wasn't a brand new idea.  My mom and I had gone to a seminar in late 2007/early 2008 and I never followed up with seeing the doctor.  I was pretty confident (and a little cocky).  My motto was, "if they don't like me how I am, they don't deserve to be with me anyway."  Which is true-  to a certain extent.  Hearing Ben express how much he loved me and wanted me to be healthy changed my whole outlook.

So later that same month I scheduled an appointment for myself and Ben to attend a seminar at St. Vincent's East Hospital.  I sat in the front row;  I wanted to know everything.  After the roughly 2 hour long seminar, I was so excited.  People had spoken about how their lives had changed and their health had improved.  I wanted that for myself and I was now sure that I wanted to proceed with the surgery process.

It took a while to get an appointment with Dr. Miles.  I didn't see him until January.  He informed me of the many things I needed to do for my insurance to pay for this and assured me that I was a perfect candidate for surgery.  The first (and most important) thing I had to do was visit my primary care physician and start my 7-month long doctor supervised weight loss.  I had to have an appointment with my PCP every month for 7 months and if I missed an appointment I had to start over.  So I started the process, thinking that the next 7 months were going to be the longest 7 months of my entire life.

Boy was I wrong...

TV & food

September 4, 2013

Hump Day, whoop whoop!  Does anyone else just think that commercial is hilarious?  Because I crack up every single time I see it on TV.  Really glad it's Wednesday already!  I've been to the gym 3 days in a row and I must say, I'm getting kind of addicted.  I have been known to talk myself out of things, but yesterday I was so excited to get to the gym.  Gold's Gym is somewhere that I always thought would intimidate me and make me shy away from the gym experience.  But yesterday, I marched in there like I owned it and did my thing.  They have this amazing thing called a TV hooked to their cardio machines and one episode of Wheel of Fortune later I was done!  Geniuses, I tell you.  I rode the bike for 30 minutes and did one lap around the track as a cool down.  I don't honestly know what it is about the recumbent bike, but I love it.  I just keep thinking that I need to get my arms some action too, but I'm not quite ready to go down with the iron pumping gentleman and grab some weights.  Not yet, anyway.

Today a drug rep brought lunch to work-  hamburger steak, mashed potatoes, & green beans.  Ooooooh it sounds SO delicious, I won't even lie.  But if I want the scale to keep going down (which I do) then I need to stick to what's in the lunchbox.  It's hard.  I'm not even going to lie and say it's easy.  IT.IS.HARD.  But I made this decision and I'm going to make myself the healthiest person I can be.

Lastly for today, I just want to say thank you.  I know that I'm only a few posts into this blog, and it probably sounds redundant, but so many of you have reached out to me.  A girl from middle school who I haven't seen in 15 years reached out with advice because she had the surgery.  My cousin's friend from high school also reached out, having had the surgery as well.  And I got the absolute sweetest Facebook message last night from an old friend from middle/high school.  It just about brought me to tears.  I started this to document everything I was going through and to never forget what it felt to be so heavy.  The outpouring of support and encouragement was completely unexpected.  Thank you all so much!

SW: 311
CW: 287.5
- 23.5 lbs

fatigue & fruit cups

September 3, 2013

Today was another day when I just kept thinking, "holy crap I really did it."  For several years, I've toyed with the idea of gastric bypass.  It was always just an idea that I would talk about with my mom.  We even went to a seminar several years ago, but I never followed up with it.  It's amazing how things change when you are really ready to make a change.

I also keep reading that between two & four weeks post-op I will start to feel fatigue and exhaustion.  I've been feeling really great-  energized, motivated and even more prepared with my food choices.  But today it's as though I can't keep my eyes open.  I'm hoping that it was just the long weekend and sleeping in too late. I don't know that I will be able to handle 2-4 weeks of feeling fatigue!

Another change I'm getting used to is packing a lunch box every morning.  I pack two protein shakes, one for the drive in to work and one for the drive home.  I find that this is the easiest way to get in the majority of my needed protein.  (protein is needed so your hair won't fall out- I DO NOT want my hair to fall out!)  I also pack yogurt, individual fruit cups (OBSESSED with peach), some Milo's Splenda tea, etc... Enough for me to eat several times a day, which honestly is hard to do at work.  Doable, but hard.

Greek yogurt is also another thing I'm getting used to.  I tried the Chobani brand once and it was so sour-bleh!  I couldn't eat it.  So I gave the Yoplait Greek 100 with peaches a try and LOVE it.  The texture does take getting used to, but it's by the far the best one I've tried.

Ben is out of town this week, so I want to see if he thinks I look any different when he comes home.  I've been told several times that my face looks a lot smaller, so yay for that!  As always, just taking it one day at a time.  Got my gym clothes ready and I'm hoping I have at least some energy left for a 30 minute workout! 

SW: 311
CW: 287.5
-23.5 lbs

Healthy (Vegetarian) Southwest Bowl


  • 1 bag Morningstar Griller's Crumbles
  • 1 can  Black Beans
  • 1 container pre-chopped yellow onion
  • 1 container pre-prepared pico de gallo
  • 1 package Chobani original greek yogurt
  • 1 bag reduced fat shredded cheese
  • 1 bottle Bolthouse Farms Salsa Ranch Yogurt Dressing
The Morninstar crumbles are pre-cooked, so you just heat them up in a pan.  I heated them in a skillet with the onions exactly as I would if I were browning ground beef.  I rinsed the black beans and heated them in a separate pot, keeping them on low.  Once the crumbles and onions are thoroughly heated, make your bowl!  I stacked mine with black beans first, crumbles, pico, cheese, greek yogurt and then just a splash of the salsa ranch yogurt dressing.  This bowl was so incredibly satisfying!  Thanks to Sami for the suggestion of greek yogurt instead of sour cream!  I couldn't even tell a difference. (and of course you can tweak this with lettuce, rice, chicken, etc... those are just things I can't eat yet!)

The yogurt dressing can be found in your produce section.  It was something I just happened to stumble upon and was pleasantly surprised that it was very healthy!  And guys-  I love that I'm finding new and satisfying things to eat so that I don't feel deprived or on my own with food.  Ben ate this bowl with me and loved it!

workout & motivation

September 2, 2013

For the first time in a very long time I was excited to get on the scale this morning.  I just knew I had to have dropped some weight since my workout yesterday. And I did!  Down another 1.5 lbs!  I was so excited.  It's so funny because as an overweight person, getting on the scale is never exciting.  So many things are changing for the better and I am ecstatic! For the first time in my life, I feel motivated and optimistic that what I'm doing will work.

SW: 311
CW: 288.5
-22.5 lbs

football & food

September 1, 2013

This weekend has been really great so far.  Yesterday, Ben and I went to my cousins house for the first Alabama game of the year.  Kimberly is always cooking and making fun things to eat, so she tried really hard to make some food that I could enjoy.  She had some leftover marinara sauce with no meat and told me to pick up a spaghetti squash on the way over.  I've seen posts about spaghetti squash ALL over Pinterest, but had never tried it, so I was pretty excited.  She taught me how to cook it and I was shocked at how much it looked like noodles!  And let me tell you... having that first taste of "spaghetti" was amazing.  I was so happy to have a real meal.  Alabama won the game against Virginia Tech (woohoo!) and we went to get mani/pedi's while the guys watched football.  So all in all, a great day.

I had a real craving for Moe's or Chipotle the other day.  One of their chicken and rice bowls was just calling out to me!  Ben and I went to Wal-Mart on Friday night to pick up the supplies.  It turned out SO yummy!  And chock full of protein, too.  It was another delicious "real" meal. (recipe post coming for those interested!) To top off my Sunday, I went to the gym for the first time since surgery.  The bariatric coordinator suggested that I start out doing 30 minutes 4-5 times a week.  So I did the recumbent bike and the treadmill for 15 minutes each.  Even though I'm only down 20 pounds, I really do feel a lot more energized.  I had my earphones, my music and my Powerade Zero and I was ready to go.  I felt really good afterwards, too.

P.S. Powerade Zero in Fruit Punch is probably the best drink I've ever had!  It is so good.  No calories, no sugar, no carbs... check, check, and check.  Yum yum.

One thing I did discover this week was to NEVER, ever, EVER! get on the scale at night.  I already knew this, but I thought that with surgery the scale would go down at all times.  NOPE.  It definitely still goes up. I have to constantly remind myself that this surgery is a tool for me to use to my advantage.  So the gym is going to be my friend and I am going to do everything in my power to be a smaller, healthier person!

SW:  311
CW:  290
-21 lbs
(I sure wish that scale would move down!!)

surgery & struggles.

August 28, 2013

I had gastric bypass surgery on August 19, which makes me 12 days out.  Life is crazy.  I'm constantly trying to get enough protein and drink enough water without making myself sick.  And it's hard.

When I went to the grocery store the weekend before surgery, I spent $200 on everything I thought I would need.  I knew protein was my major focus, but somehow I lost it along the way.  I ended up with fruit cups,  SF pudding, SF jello, Milo's Splenda tea, water, crystal light, melba toast, cheese, eggs, milk, Special K protein cereal, canned veggies, soup, etc... And I'm finding it harder and harder to get in my needed 60-80g of protein a day.  It has become very clear that I am going to have to start cooking and preparing meals.  And don't even get me started on not being able to have meat for two more weeks.

Today was also my first day back at work, which proved more difficult than I thought it would be.  The office manager texted me and asked if we were interested in ordering lunch... and I just felt like I couldn't not order something.  I had a lunchbox full of food from home!  I'm going to chalk this up as a prime example of head hunger.  I ended up ordering a tuna salad wrap from Roly Poly and just eating the tuna salad out of it.  I did check the nutritional facts and it was packed with protein, so I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong.  Having gone through this whole surgery process and recovering, I am definitely not going to do anything to jeopardize my weight loss or my life.  The pouch is so small and still currently held together with staples, I have to be super careful.  Thankfully, so far so good.

I look forward to the journey and sharing it with you all.  And I've never, never, ever told anyone my weight.  Ever.  But in order to keep an honest journal and keep myself real throughout this whole process, I will post my weight at the end of every post.

Dear God help me.

SW:  311
CW: 290
- 21 lbs