Life + Weight Loss + Advocare

Well hey there kids.  It's been a minute since I've been around these parts and I can't say I miss it that much.  Life is, as usual, busy.  I'm working hard on school so I can finally be done with my Associates degree in July.  Then, I'm going to take a few months off until I head into the Bachelor's program, which will be another two years of school work for me.  As they always say, the time will pass anyway... right?
I figured I'd stop in and just update you guys on what's been happening lately.  So here we go!

• I'm updating this from my brand spankin' new MacBook Air thanks to a nice little refund I got in the mail from my financial aid.  Since I'm technically graduating this year and didn't do a full year of classes, I had just enough to get a (much needed) new computer and I always said the next computer I'd get would be a Mac.  So ta-da!
• I knew this all along, but more than ever I've discovered that gastric bypass IS.NOT. a cure all for being overweight.  Those pounds will come back.  Your body will eventually readjust to foods you never thought you'd eat again.  You will get on the scale one day and be like, where the hell did those 12 pounds come from?  It takes effort people.  It is a non stop struggle and will be for my whole life.  I'm not disappointed in myself or let down, but I do have to get back on track to work hard, eat (way) better, and let others inspire me like I want to inspire them.
• This is where Advocare comes in.  When I did the 24 Day Challenge, it was a lot.  I think I wrote about how I probably wouldn't do it again because the fiber drink was nasty (but it really was), the vitamins were so overwhelming, etc... But I found myself replacing my fattening Dunkin Donuts coffee with Spark every morning and taking some supplements that help to curb my appetite.  So I decided to become a distributor for the discount and have also sold to some friends of mine, which is pretty cool.  Over the past few weeks, I've become obsessed with carrying my blender bottle with me everywhere so I can whip up some Spark at a moment's notice.  Fruit Punch is my favorite and I have it every.single.morning.  I also bought a month's worth of the appetite control vitamins, got a neat little app for my phone to remind me to take them, and another appetite suppressant pill to go along with all that.  The awesome thing about Advocare is that it's natural.  It's not like, insane crack-like pills that will make you shake and convulse, but rather natural ingredients that work with your body.  After my gastric bypass, I feel totally comfortable taking these!  (Not sure if I'd recommend them for someone who had gastric bypass until about 12 months out, just to be sure, but you could always ask your doctor.)  I feel confident that all of these combined will help me get back on track with my weight loss and get these damn last annoying 50 pounds off my body!  Now if I could just get my food prepping back in order... if it's not one thing, ya know!
• A lot of y'all have reached out to me about missing my blog and God knows I love you all so much, but I don't see myself coming back to blogging full time.  I got a wild hair today and wanted to just update you, but I can't promise how regularly I will do that.  I am constantly on FB, Instagram and sometimes Twitter, so please feel free to add me on all of those!  I really do love talking and connecting with you guys, and just because I'm not here doesn't mean I'm not somewhere-  because I am.  (and if you ask my husband, I'm everywhere.  mwahahah!)

so much love, hugs and kisses to you guys!

thank you for always being there for me.

all my love, always!

the truth about one-derland.

my journey has been like walking down a path through the woods.  

walking, working, waiting, desperately trying to reach a certain point.  

below 300.  down 50 pounds.  down 75 pounds.  down 100 pounds. 

and then of course, the challenge of making it under 200 pounds:  my biggest milestone yet.

SO THE TRUTH: I did get into one-derland.  On Monday, I got on the scale and it said 199.0.  And I was ecstatic!  I was excited and so proud of myself for working hard last week, working out every day, eating the best I possibly could, and keeping myself motivated to reach my goal.
So today is Wednesday. My eating hasn't changed. I worked out yesterday pretty hard at Zumba with Molly. I haven't been eating late at night.
And today, I'll be damned if I didn't wake up at 201.0. What is that all about? I know, I know... muscle weighs more than fat. And I've been working out again, so I'm probably gaining muscle again. But like...  I really wanted to hit 199 and never, ever, ever go back into the 200's.
Let's be real for a second. What really is the difference between 199 and 200? Yes, I'm in "one-derland" but only by a pound. And, as we can see, for any given reason that one pound can come back just like that.
So I'm going to keep going. Keep pushing. And set a new goal. I want to be at least 170 by the wedding. Almost exactly three months away. I feel like I can do it. I can keep myself motivated and on the right track. Then I will truly be a one-derland member for life. Because I can guarantee that there is no way in hell I will ever gain back those 30 pounds once I get there. I'm not defeated.  I'm more motivated than ever.
So there it is... my truth about being in one-derland.   For one whole day.

shopping at the "normal" stores

Yesterday was a really amazing day.  We had Father's Day lunch with my parents and grandparents, and then we headed out to the Outlet Mall.  I looove the Outlet Mall, but in the past I never could buy anything.  I never could go into the Gap, J. Crew, Banana Republic, even sometimes Old Navy and purchase anything because I couldn't fit into even their largest sizes.

Yesterday, I walked into Lane Bryant, my usual shopping go-to store, and my world changed:  their clothes were extremely too big for me.  The fact that I am too small to shop in that store made me feel strange and like something was wrong, because for so many years, that was the only place that I could shop.  And honestly, at my heaviest, their clothes were getting a little snug.

I walked into Gap and bought a really cute orange pair of size XL linen shorts, as well as an XL shirt.  The last time I could fit into any size in the gap was when I was 13 years old.  (true story, people.)

I also found several things in J.Crew that I loved, but even at the Outlet and with the discounts, their prices are a little more than I'm used to paying.  A tee shirt that's half off but still $20 is just a bit too much for me.  (can we say Tiffany Tastes & Target Pockets?  that's me.)

I have been shopping at Old Navy a lot lately.  I fit into a size 16 pair of shorts and felt amazing!  So when we arrived at the Outlet and I saw the Old Navy sign, I almost had a fit!  The store was huge and everything was marked down AND on sale for at least 30% off, some things even 50% off.  I bought another pair of shorts, blue striped, and three shirts, SIZE LARGE.  I truly have no idea when the last time I could wear a size Large shirt at Old Navy.  Even just the comfortable fitting little cotton ones, which are the ones I bought yesterday.  

I still haven't made it under 200 pounds, which like I've said before is a result of my lack of time for the gym, but after yesterday, I feel amazing.  The weight loss aspect of my life isn't always at the forefront, but yesterday it definitely was, and in such a positive way.  I'm so thankful for the surgery, every single day, but especially on days like yesterday when I can feel normal, healthy and beautiful.  When I'm walking away from the long maxi dresses and heading to the short ones because I'm no longer ashamed to show my legs.  When I'm buying shorts and cute outfits from "normal" stores and feeling amazing in them.  When I no longer care what others think of my perfectly imperfect body.  Those are the times when I know God's plan for me is amazing, and that this journey of mine, even when it isn't about the weight loss, is on the right path.

Happy Sunday, y'all.  Thank God for your blessings and be a shining light for someone today.  

weight loss changes: part one.

Gastric Bypass surgery was a funny thing for me.  I was so nervous to do it; terrified in fact.  Even though I wrote about it and talked about it, I still had no idea how it would change my life.  So I figured today, for those of you who read and follow this blog and have gone through the surgery process or are getting ready to go through the process, I would list out some of the ways having gastric bypass surgery changed my life.

PART ONE

#1.  IT IS EXHILARATING AND TERRIFYING ALL AT THE SAME TIME:  We went to the beach this past weekend and I wore a legit two piece for the first time since middle school.  Not shorts and a tankini from the maternity section of Target-  a real bikini bottom and a real bandeau top.  I was terrified to take off my bathing suit cover, but amazed and proud at the fact that I could actually fit into this bathing suit.

#2. THINGS ARE GOING TO FALL OUT OF PLACE:  Let's just get real for a second... when you lose 100 pounds in eight months, your boobs are not going to hold themselves up.  This is just nature people.  There is always surgery for that.  My legs are jiggly and my stomach is not flat.  You are going to look better and feel better, but that doesn't mean everything will still be in it's tight and rightful place.

#3.  NUMBER TWO IS TRUE EVEN WHEN YOU WORK OUT:  I worked out with Gene The Personal Trainer for several months and things did tighten up a good bit.  However, when you are as overweight as I was for as long as I was, that skin doesn't just tighten up super tight when you start dropping weight really fast.  Your main focus should be on working out, building muscle, losing fat and figuring out what to do with all that skin later.  I repeat-  it's nature, people.

#4.  RANDOM PEOPLE WHO NEVER NOTICED YOU BEFORE WILL START GIVING YOU A LOT OF ATTENTION:  This is sad but true.  I have people at work who talk to me, wave to me, smile at me, chat with me, tell me how great I look, compliment my hair, etc... etc... etc... ALL.THE.TIME.  I've seen these people for years at my job and they never gave me a second glance until I started losing weight.  Do I care if they ever talk to me or not?  No, not really.  It's nice to be complimented, but if you would have gotten to know me when I was 300 pounds you'd see that I'm still the same person, just smaller. [side lesson:  some people just really are that superficial.  you'll see.]

#5.  YOU WILL TEST YOURSELF:  Emotionally, physically, mentally-  you name it, you will be tested.  Gene The Personal Trainer used to tell me all the time, "you're so much stronger than you think."  Those were words I didn't know I needed to hear.  Those were also words that were shockingly true.  He would plan out these hard workouts for me and I would just kill them.  He'd be shocked and I would be shocked.  YOU CAN DO IT.

stay tuned for part two... 

the four before.

Before I had this weight loss blog, I had a lifestyle blog.

I never really found my "voice" with my writing and didn't have any special talents (fashion, cooking, etc...) to write about.  So I transitioned after surgery over to this blog and really love writing about my experiences.  

Something made me take a trip down memory lane a few days ago and read through my old posts.  

I had forgotten how much I wrote about surgery before I decided to start this blog.  

So I thought I would share with you all the last four posts I wrote in Heavens to Meighan regarding surgery.  

The post "Reasons" is my favorite.  It's nice to be reminded of why I am doing this.

Enjoy!

August 15, 2013

Six Things

Yesterday I spent all day- literally- all day at the hospital.  I had a 4+ hour nutrition class about what I can/can't eat after surgery.  Then I had pre-op blood work, EKG, etc... Then I had my pre-op appointment with the surgeon.  I got there around 7:15 and left around 4:30.

EXHAUSTED was an understatement last night.  I don't even remember going to bed!  The last thing I remember is laying on the couch with Ben and after that I have no clue.  Weird.

Also, my surgery was scheduled for 8/22, but due to some mix-up with the operating room doctor designated hours, they had to change it.  So I am going into surgery on Monday.

Like, this monday.  It got crazy so fast.  I have so much to do to be prepared.

Including the dreaded night before bowel prep.  Don't even get me started on why they make you poop your guts out the night before a major surgery.  Like, my nerves are already bad enough and now you want me to spend the night stinking up the house and repeatedly wiping my ass?  No bueno. 

So-  that is the latest update.  Before surgery I will be sure and post a full body before shot.  God, that is my nightmare.  But if I'm going to talk about it, then I may as well share everything.

Lastly, Miss Allie Bug from Tales of a Twenty Something picked me for her kickball team!  Whoop whoop!  Ok not really, but she did tag me to do this fun little "about me" post.  So here we go!

SIX THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME

#1.  What is the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?  Definitely something my mom said to me about 4 years ago.  Probably the most simple piece of advice ever, but it had the biggest impact on me:  "just enjoy your life."  I would worry, have terrible anxiety and panic attacks.  When my mom told me that, those four little words put everything into perspective.  Just another reason why I adore my mother.

#2.  If you could meet any blogger in person, who would you choose?  Ooooh, that's a toughie.  I've already met Catherine and she's amazing.  I would love to meet Allie Bug, duh!  And Chels from Red Velvet Rooster.  She's so sweet and we have a lot in common.

#3.  What's your biggest struggle in life?  Aside from the obvious (my weight), I would say my excessive worrying and anxiety.  I also have panic attacks as well, which SUCK.  I do take medicine for these things, but sometimes my body goes in it's own path and I just have an anxious day.  Luckily, those days are becoming more and more sparse.  

#4.  What's something you love about yourself?  Well, if you just want me to be bragadocious... lol.  I'm definitely a giver.  I always want to do things for other people to make them happy.  And my sense of humor isn't too bad either.

#5.  Favorite thing to do in your spare time?  Spare time?!  What's that?  Haha.  I do love a good snuggle on the couch with a reality TV marathon.  I love to sit down with a good book and just read for hours.  It sounds crazy, but my hobbies really change with the season.  Hanging by the pool, BBQing, picnics, old movie marathons by the fireplace, football games (HS, College & NFL), etc... and I have a feeling after my surgery shopping will be added to that list somewhere.  ;)

#6.  Who inspires you?  So many people.  My parents, of course.  They've been married 35 years and still love each other so much.  God knows it hasn't been an easy road, but they are truly amazing.  My fiance inspires me to be a better person each day.  He works so hard and asks for very little in return.  And of course I find myself inspired by strangers or random people on a daily basis.

August 16, 2013

Reasons

Coming to work today felt crazy.  Like it was my last day here forever.

That may sound ominous, but I've been known to get crazy feelings before.

 

Wednesday, when I went to the nutritionist class, they suggested all sorts of things to keep me on track after surgery.

For example, keeping your biggest pair of pants.

Well lemme tell ya, mine are pretty big... I won't be getting rid of those bad boys for a while.

Once I start to lose weight after surgery, I never want to forget how I felt as a fat person.

 

Another suggestion they made was to make a list of every.single.reason. why I'm having surgery. 
Even down to the smallest things. 
So, I thought what better place to have that permanently recorded than this blog.

(not in order of importance obviously, my mind is currently jumbled with way too many thoughts.)

 

 

1.  We went to the Braves game with Ben's parents.  I wore a cute summer dress and fixed my hair, but all confidence went down the drain when I could barely (with fat flowing over) fit into the stadium seats.  Embarassing and uncomfortable.  I NEVER want to have that problem again.

 

2.  Asking someone to take our picture BUT ONLY FROM THE SHOULDERS UP PLEASE!!!!

 

 

3.  My health.  Definitely and most importantly my health.  I want to be a mom and I want to get pregnant soon without the worry of complications from obesity.

 

4.  To sit indian style on the floor.  Or really just sit on the floor without being awkward and uncomfortable.

 

5.  So my knees don't hurt anymore.  When I fell at work several months ago, I injured my knee and having so much weight on it everyday makes the pain worse and worse everyday.  I never want to feel my joints ache because of the heaviness of my body.  I want to feel them ache because I went way too hard during Zumba class, or pushed myself to run the extra mile.

 

6.  Nike running shorts.  Through the high school/college years, everyone wore Nike running shorts.  The cute, bright designs with a long tee shirt and some tennis shoes.  Simple.  Never, in my entire life that I can remember, since the discovery of Nike running shorts, have I ever been able to fit into a pair.  Hell, I may hate them once I put them on.  But one of my goals is to fit into some damn Nike running shorts.  And eventually go running in them.

 

and monogrammed?!  shut your mouth.



 

7.  Roller coasters.  It's not rocket science that bigger people don't do roller coasters.  No one can enjoy being on a roller coaster when their seat barely locked and is stabbing their fat in the most uncomfortable places.  No one likes being at Six Flags and having the roller coaster attendant push super hard to make sure my seat locked.  P.S. that just seems frickin dangerous.

 

8. Booths at restaurants.  I guess I should've made a general category of "I'm too big to fit into these places" but really, I need to be reminded.  California Pizza Kitchen, Waffle House, Newks, etc... any place with a booth.  I always think to myself, God that booth looks small.  Except really I'm just that big.  It's not fun squeezing in and out of them and it's especially embarrassing when your fiancé has to help you.  I never want to feel that way again.

 

9.  My future kids.  I want to play with them.  Not sit on the couch and watch them play.  My mom used to get in the floor with me and play Barbies for hours, but at my weight now I probably couldn't sit and play with them for 20 minutes.  I want to push them on a swing.  I want to sit in the stands at the ballpark with the other parents and really be into whatever they are doing.  Am I saying overweight parents don't do this?  No.  I'm just saying it would be hard for me to do.  I want to be one of those moms pushing the jogging stroller.  Every time I drive by one of them, I'm always thinkinggood for you lady, you're doing it right.  I want to be a great mom, an active mom, a healthy mom and a fun mom.  And being tired from being fat isn't the definition of any of those.

 

10.  Ben.  The man I love more than anything in this world.  Who every time I think about him, my stomach flutters because I'm so lucky to love and have love in return.  He's loved me at my heaviest and he's going to continue to love me at my skinniest.  I know I will be a better wife, with more energy for house work, yard work, and fun stuff that we want to do.  I remember being in Panama City Beach and Ben wanting to ride a virtual reality ride near the beach.  I lied and told him it would make me sick, so we didn't do it.  The truth was that there was a weight limit posted on the outside of the ride and I was terrified they wouldn't let me in or ask me my weight.  So we just kept walking.

 

11.  Clothes.  Duh.  Who doesn't want to feel good and look good in clothes?  I hate having to pull my shirt down in the back when I'm sitting down because my fat ass pushes it up.  Or make sure that some fabric hasn't gotten stuck in between my boobs and my belly.  Or that my belly isn't hanging slap out of the bottom of my shirt.  And don't even get me started on pants.  NONE OF THEM FIT.  I can't even really buy jeans from Lane Bryant because they don't fit right and they simply don't look cute.  I literally couldn't tell you the last time I wore jeans.  I know for a fact I haven't worn them at all in 2013.

 

12.  TO BE HAPPY.  To not worry that people are looking at me, thinking that I'm way too big to be wearing a certain dress or skirt or shirt or shoes.

 

 

more to come.

I am still going to post a before picture, I just have to get Ben to take one.

Let me tell you I DREAD IT.

And thank you for all of your continued support.

it means more than you know.

August 18, 2013

yesterday && tomorrow

Well.  

Today is my last normal day at home before surgery.  

And it will only be normal until about 5:00 when I have to take a whole bottle of Miralax and start pooping all night.
The old dreaded bowel prep.  God help me.

Yesterday wasn't such a great day.  I was hungry.  I was so extremely irritable.

Ben has been desperately trying to find a Google ChromeCast and every store we go to is always sold out.

So apparently, as Ben recollects, I was "loud and sounded super angry" when talking to the guy about the sold out status.
Honestly, I don't think I even realized what was happening in the moment.

I think people call that hunger amnesia.  Totally an official medical diagnosis, in case you were wondering.

exactly.

I also got $200 worth of post surgery groceries.  Mostly included soup, beans, peas, other veggies that can be cooked into "mushy food," jello, pudding, melba toast, protein shakes, water, etc... It sounds awful, but my stomach will be so small that I won't be able to eat much anyway.  I think the one thing I'm looking forward to the most is scrambled eggs.  It is the most "normal" food out of everything I can eat.

Today I am trying to get the house in order, the laundry done and my bag packed for surgery.
They told me to buy a robe, slippers, and bring pajamas for two nights at the hospital.

So what did I do?

I bought fuzzy flip flop slippers, a flamingo patterned robe, cheetah print pajama pants (Lord they are so soft!), a lace PJ top and a super soft nightgown.  I mean, I may as well look cute if I'm going to feel like hell, right?
Exactly.

I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 and surgery will probably start around 7:30.
I will be in recovery for 1-2 hours and will be out of it for most of the afternoon.
I'm nervous and excited and anxious to start my new journey!

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!
I will be sure and update you all as soon as possible after surgery.
You can follow me on Twitter:  @themeighanb
That will be the easiest way for me to update everyone.

Love you all!  See you on the flip side!

August 21, 2013

whoa, that was rough.

The last two days have been a total blur. I'm not real sure I'm 100% with it today either, but oh well. 

I remember going into the OR and then what seemed like 3 minutes later being in recovery saying "ow ow" over and over again from the pain. They kept me pretty doped up that first day and night. 

I remember my parents, grandparents, Ben and his mom being there all to support me, which was lovely. 

I had a drain in until this morning, draining my wound. Let me tell you, that was not my idea of fun. Most of my pain came from that, and when they pulled it out it felt like they were pulling my guts out along with it. (TMI? sorry.)

I also couldn't pee after surgery from anesthesia so they had to re-catheterize me to empty my bladder. There is nothing like a nurse being ALL UP IN your lady business first thing in the morning. Not super pleasant, but I'm sure they've seen worse. 

Now I'm home and working on walking as much as possible and drinking as much as I can. They had to fill me up with gas so I'm trying to walk all of that out of my body. Also trying not to develop any blood clots. 

I'm just so happy to be home. I know this is all a rambled, jumbled mess but I lived to tell about it regardless. 

Love you all LOTS. 

Thanks for the support!

My Gastric Bypass Story Pt. 3: Surgery Time

The days leading up to surgery were indescribable.  I was feeling so many emotions-  anxious, nervous, hesitant, curious, scared, hopeful, and ready.  I kept telling myself I was ready to do this, ready to change.  I had mentally prepared myself for all of the changes I had to make, but something inside me still couldn't believe I was actually going to have this surgery.

I got my surgery date five days before surgery and had to immediately go on a liquid diet.  Sugar free popsicles, tomato soup, sugar free jello/pudding, etc... I was supposed to do it for 14 days, but since I needed to have my surgery in August (for work purposes), they said five days would be fine.  I was weak and irritable by the time the week was over.  I'm pretty sure I yelled at a Best Buy employee and embarrassed Ben, but I couldn't help it.  I WAS HUNGRY.

My surgery was scheduled for Monday, so on Sunday I had to do clear liquids only:  broth, popsicles, tea, water, etc...  At 5:00 I also had to mix a bottle of Miralax with Gatorade and drink it to do the dreaded bowel cleanse.  It wasn't as bad as I thought.  Since I had been on liquids for the past several days, there wasn't really that much left in my system.  So I ran to the bathroom for several hours, letting out little by little, and finally was able to go to sleep.

Monday morning, Ben and I woke up at 4:00 am to get ready to go to the hospital.  I had to shower with the special pre-surgery antibiotic soap before we left and finish packing my bags for the two nights I would have to stay.  The car ride to the hospital was scary.  It was still pitch black outside and I started to feel panicky.  Ben did his best to console me, but I was so nervous.  More nervous than I'd ever been in my entire life.  This was my first surgery in my entire life. I was scared to death.

We finally got to the hospital, I paid my deductible and went into get registered for surgery.  Ben waited in the waiting room for his mom and my parents to arrive.  Ben's mom arrived before my parents and came in to see me just as the nurse was done taking my vitals and telling me everything they were going to do.  I was trying so hard not to become emotional.  The nurse kept saying to me, "I just want you to know that we will take great care of you and give you the best care possible."  By the third time she said it, right as Martha walked in, I started crying.  And as soon as I saw Martha, I started crying even harder.  All of the emotion I had held in about the surgery came pouring out.  Martha prayed over me, just as my parents and Ben had done the night before, and I knew that I was truly in God's hands.

My parents came in next and I started to cry again.  I hated myself for crying in front of them, because I knew the more I seemed scared, the more they would worry.  I said my "see you laters" to my parents, Martha and Ben and was taken to the holding area.  The only way I know how to describe how I felt in the holding area was shock.  I kept staring at everything, emotionless, reminding myself that they do this all the time.  It seemed like eternity until someone came to start my IV's and even longer until the doctor came by.  He was perky and in a good mood, which made me feel good.  They started my IV and I was left alone again for a while.  I noticed this painting above the nurses station that said, "Some Must Watch While Others Sleep."  I looked to my right and there it was again on the wall, this time with paintings of angels around it.  And again on the left wall, with more angels.  I have never felt more comforted by God than when I saw that quote.  That's when I knew, God has me and everything is going to be fine.

The nurse anesthetist came and gave me a little push of Versed into my IV to relax me.  I'm sure it did relax me a little bit, but I did NOT feel relaxed.  It must have worked because I don't really remember being pushed to the operating room.  I remember suddenly being there and the CRNA telling me to "scoot"  from the rolling bed to the OR table.  The OR was like nothing I'd ever seen:  bright white and super clean.  Once I got on the OR table, the nurse said she was going to put a pillow under my head.  And that it wouldn't feel comfortable but that's how it needed to be.

The last thing I remember is saying, "I'm about to have a panic attack, I'm about to have a panic attack, I'm about to have a pa..."

And what seemed like just a few minutes later, I was waking up.

My Gastric Bypass Story Pt. 2: Getting Insurance to Pay

three year weight documentation

The first thing I did was go back through all the doctors I've seen in the past three years and get ALL of their office notes.  Unfortunately, most of them did not have my weight documented.  I needed one from 2010, 2011, & 2012.  I was able to find weight documented office notes from 2009, 2011 and 2012, but not 2010.  Luckily, the insurance allows you to send in a full body picture for only one year instead of an office note.  I had a lot of panic and anxiety over finding all of this, but luckily it worked out.

seven month doctor supervised visits

I have blue cross insurance and they had SO many requirements to be approved. In January, I started the insurance required monthly appointments with my primary care physician, Dr. Han.  He was so supportive and always made sure that any issue I had was taken care of.  On my first visit with him for surgery, I also found out I had asthma.  Who knew?  A few visits later I found out I was clenching my jaw from stress.  He helped me through so much.  So towards the end of every month I would go see Dr. Han.  I couldn't miss an appointment or I had to start counting the months all over again.  Dr. Han would weigh me, check my blood pressure, make sure I was still following my chosen diet plan, calculate my BMI, and sign off on my progress. I had to do this for SEVEN months straight.  I'm not sure if the insurance is trying to trick you or not, but they will tell you it's a "6 month doctor supervised weight loss program."  Okay, well it is- BUT.  The first appointment only counts as a consultation.  So after the first visit, you have six more to go.  Tricky tricky! At the end of July, I was finally done with all my visits and had been given the clearance for surgery.  What I thought would be the longest seven months of my life turned out to be the quickest.  I can't even explain how fast it went by.

sleep study(ies)

Another crazy part of going through this process is having a sleep study.  I found a place close to my house that did these and luckily they did them on the weekend.  So I went sometime in June after work on a Friday and was put in a room that looked like a hotel room.  They hooked me up to what seemed like hundreds of cords and probes.  My legs, chest, face, neck and head were all covered in cords hooked to a machine that would read everything from my leg movements at night to when I stopped breathing and for how long.  Apparently, when you stop breathing due to sleep apnea,  you kick your legs like your struggling.  This scared me!  I was sure there was no way I did that in my sleep.  Wrong again.  I had mild sleep apnea, I did stop breathing a few times throughout the night and I did kick my legs while struggling for air.  I was shocked!  (I'm still not convinced this info is accurate, because how can you even sleep normally while hooked up to all those cords?!)  So I stayed until Saturday morning around 6:00 when they came in, unplugged me and told me I could go home.  They also gave me a special formula for getting the probe goop out of my hair when I got home, which was NO easy task.

A few weeks later is when I got the results about having the mild sleep apnea, kicking, etc... They told me I needed to come back in for a CPAP study.  Surely they were kidding... Nope, wrong again.  So I scheduled it for another Friday a couple of weeks out.  Same process-  cords and probes all over- with the added bonus of a CPAP mask.  Again, getting a good night's rest with all that is just about impossible.  But they said I slept much better and should feel much more energized from having a lot more oxygen during the night.  And I did.  I was advised to purchase and wear a CPAP until surgery, which I also did.  (Ben wears one, so you can imagine that we were like, the sexiest couple ever.  Getting into bed with our CPAP's on at night... totally hot.)  Before surgery, I had to let the doctor check my CPAP compliance to make sure I really was wearing it at night.  Once they approved my compliance, I checked the CPAP off my list.

psychiatric evaluation

A lot of my friends weren't sure I was going to make it through this portion... I mean, I CAN be kind of crazy.  When I called to set up the appointment with the recommended Psychiatrist, they told me to mark at least six hours off my day for the eval.  Um, seriously?  So I took a day off work (coordinated with the day my dad had knee replacement surgery, so it worked out) and tried to get as much crazy out of my system as possible.  When I arrived at the office, I did the usual paperwork & copay combination.  I was surprised at how quickly they took me back, but it wasn't to see the doctor.  They put me in a room full of cubicles & snacks.  (not sure if that was some sort of trick to see if I would be tempted to eat or if that really was just where they kept their food.  Again, tricky tricky.)  I sat down only to be handed a huge (no literally, huge) stack of papers.  There were about 16 tests (with about 200 questions each) I had to take- all asking the same thing but wanting different kinds of answers.  Like: true/false, scale of 1-10, very true-mostly true-not true-never true, etc... The questions mostly consisted of things like, "do you see people that others cannot see?"  or "do you often want to harm yourself or others around you?"  or  "do you feel as though you have no self worth because you are overweight?"  Etc...

After the 16 tests, I had to look at an ink blob (yes they really make you do those) and write down what I saw.  Then I was given three pictures:  a boy sitting in a doorway of what looked like an old schoolhouse, a shadow of a man looking out a white window, and a boy putting together a model airplane.  I then had to write three sentences about each picture:  what happened before the picture was taken, what was happening in the picture, and what happened after the picture.  Then I had about five or six more small tests to take, asking about my diet and what information I knew about the surgery I was having.  NO WONDER they ask you to take up to six hours out of your day!  Doing all of that took me almost three hours!

Finally after finishing all of that, I had to wait on the staff to "score" my tests, which took about another hour.  After almost four hours of being in the office, I finally met with the Psychiatrist.  He GRILLED ME on everything from surgery to my relationship with Ben.  45 minutes later, he said he saw no red flags and would send my approval letter for surgery.  The insurance definitely does NOT make it easy on you.

support group/nutrition education class

A month out from surgery, I had to attend a mandatory support group.  They hold them once a month so that other patient's can come and share their struggles and successes and future patient's can see what they are in store for.  My insurance didn't require this, but my surgeon did.  They would not request approval from my insurance until I did these two last things.  After going to the support group, I was so excited about surgery.  Seeing people's before and after photo's and how far they'd come was amazing.  Hearing that their diabetes went away literally over night and they were able to stop taking their 15-20 pills a day was so inspiring to me.  I knew this would be me in ten years if I didn't have this surgery.  So if there was ever a moment when I was nervous or hesitant before, it all went away after this class.  Ben, of course, was with me and he was excited for me as well.  We were in this together and ready to get it over with.

The last thing I had to do was go to a four hour nutrition class.  (For anyone thinking of having this surgery, it requires a LOT of time away from work.  I'm so thankful my job was understanding and supportive of everything I needed to do!)  They talked about everything you could eat after surgery and everything you'd never be able to eat again.  I learned that I would have to take multi-vitamins twice a day, a calcium chewable three times a day, and B12 twice a week- FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.  I also learned that I would have to give myself blood thinner shots for 30 days after surgery to avoid getting a blood clot. (more on that debacle in Pt. 3)  I left the nutrition class, had all of my pre-surgery work up done, and went to play the waiting game with my insurance.  Those were also the slowest few days of my life.



My Gastric Bypass Story Pt. 1

In December 2009, I started dating Ben.  I knew pretty much right away that he was the one.  He always loved me for who I was-  silly, crazy, tempermental, and overweight.  He continually told me how beautiful I was.  Somehow, from 2009 to December 2012, I had gained a significant amount of weight.  Probably about 40 pounds.  Not working out, never cooking and only eating food from a drive-thru will do that I guess.  We sat down one night on the porch and Ben asked me, very delicately, if I had ever considered lap-band.  I wasn't offended-  I knew he loved me and wanted the best for me.  It was during this conversation that I knew we would get married.  Ben said he wanted me to think about surgery for our future, as husband and wife and as parents.  He was telling me something I already knew:  I needed to change.  I had considered surgery before, so it wasn't a brand new idea.  My mom and I had gone to a seminar in late 2007/early 2008 and I never followed up with seeing the doctor.  I was pretty confident (and a little cocky).  My motto was, "if they don't like me how I am, they don't deserve to be with me anyway."  Which is true-  to a certain extent.  Hearing Ben express how much he loved me and wanted me to be healthy changed my whole outlook.

So later that same month I scheduled an appointment for myself and Ben to attend a seminar at St. Vincent's East Hospital.  I sat in the front row;  I wanted to know everything.  After the roughly 2 hour long seminar, I was so excited.  People had spoken about how their lives had changed and their health had improved.  I wanted that for myself and I was now sure that I wanted to proceed with the surgery process.

It took a while to get an appointment with Dr. Miles.  I didn't see him until January.  He informed me of the many things I needed to do for my insurance to pay for this and assured me that I was a perfect candidate for surgery.  The first (and most important) thing I had to do was visit my primary care physician and start my 7-month long doctor supervised weight loss.  I had to have an appointment with my PCP every month for 7 months and if I missed an appointment I had to start over.  So I started the process, thinking that the next 7 months were going to be the longest 7 months of my entire life.

Boy was I wrong...