tough it out tuesday

March 11, 2014

Tales of a Twenty Something

I haven't done a link-up since I stopped writing in my old lifestyle blog, but this one is pretty fitting since it's based all around, what else, WEIGHT LOSS!  My really sweet friend Allie decided that it was time to change her life for the better by losing weight and getting fit!  She is doing so well.  She is someone who really inspires me and we encourage and empower each other on a daily basis.  I'm so lucky to have her as my friend!  So here we go, Tough it out Tuesday!

Lately, I have been just so hungry.  And I know exactly why:  because I've been eating more and more carbs.  Obviously, there are a ton of reasons why the doctors tell you not to eat carbs after surgery.  They make you gain weight!  And they make you hungry, which makes you eat more, which makes you gain weight!  The cycle is vicious my friends, just vicious.  I have been trying to do so much better.  I worked out with Gene on Saturday after a semi-long hiatus and felt really, really good.  Yesterday, I felt tired and sluggish because I had some of my cousin's homemade bread.  Today, I craved chocolate so bad it hurt!  I'm just going to be frank for one minute and say that PMS is an evil bitch.  Or maybe that's just me while I'm having PMS, but nonetheless, it will jack you up.  

PMS after Gastric Bypass is HARD.  Before surgery, I would've gone down to the snack machine, gotten a Hershey's and a 20 oz. Coke and been perfectly satisfied with myself.  Now, I have to actively search for healthy alternatives that will somehow satisfy my monthly craving for either extremely sweet or extremely salty.  Today, I went down to the snack machine and stared at it for like 10 minutes.  After 10 minutes, I bought a Twix.  A FREAKING TWIX PEOPLE!  I can't eat that!  But I sure as hell sat there, on the second floor of my building, and straight up ate the whole thing!  

yes, I did take a picture.

THAT is a complete loss of control if there ever was one.  I felt so ashamed and like I was old Meighan, hiding food from my coworkers.  And of course, like 15 minutes later, I felt absolutely retched.  Because I'm not supposed to have that kind of stuff! Duh!! I can't let myself fall back into those habits, EVER.  And I can't even figure out when I started letting myself slip a little... and it's frustrating.

So this post is about honesty.  I didn't tough it out.  Instead, I gave in and did something that made me feel shame I haven't felt in six months.  Maybe, in a twisted way, it's the reminder I needed to never go back to that place ever again.  No more chocolate.  No more Twix.  No more giving in.

I'm tough and I can do this.  I went through surgery knowing I would have to fight like hell to achieve my goals and that there would be bumps along the way.  So I'm ready to be over the hurdle and back on the horse, racing to the finish line.  

Or, in my case, to the bikini store to stock up on legit two pieces for the honeymoon.
Ultimate motivation.  



  1. Sometimes we gotta fall just to get back up. Sometimes having the chocolate (and the feelings it gives us afterwards) reminds us why we are on this getting fitter journey, and we jump back on board. Just remember, falling down once doesn't mean you can't get back up again. Its a life long journey, not a short sprint and if occasionally you fail, all it means is that you are human. You are doing great, keep making the best choices you can make and YOU WILL GET THERE. :-)

  2. I loved this post because I had a similar thing happen with me on Friday. Sometimes it happens and we slip up. It's okay just don't beat yourself up over it and jump right back on board! You can do it!

  3. Oh chocolate. The struggle is real! You cant beat yourself up too hard for giving in every now and then. We all do it. Are you able to eat Quest bars? They make a cookie dough one and it really satisfies my needs for all the sweet things without an ounce of guilt considering the amount of protein and fiber they provide. They make a chocolate peanut butter one and a brownie one and a cookies and cream one too.

  4. I know it's not easy. I struggle every day to eat well and avoid those temptations. And I do fail at times. But the main point is that you know it's not good to eat and as long as you do it in small doses, you'll be fine! I drink Bolthouse drinks that are loaded with protein and vitamins. The chocolate one is SO good and quenches my need for chocolate. You should try them!

  5. The chocolate and carb struggle is so, so real. I think it's really telling and really important that you were able to write about your moment of weakness and post it for everyone to see. This is real life and it's a struggle and losing weight and being healthy is hard. But you're improving and recognizing your weaknesses and that's huge! I have no doubt that you're going to meet your goals.

  6. We've already talked about this, but thank you for sharing your story with us. You are SO BRAVE and I'm SO PROUD to have you in my life as a friend and as STBSB's or SOON TO BE SKINNY BITCHES <3