"zoo animal!"
I have been so excited to take our engagement pictures. We had to reschedule twice- once because Ben was semi-deathly ill and once because of the terrible, freezing weather. So when Sunday finally rolled around, I was ready to go! I had all of our props, wardrobe changes, my grandmother's quilt, football shakers, shoes, a hairbrush, makeup, jewelry, etc... packed in the car and ready to head to the park. It was absolutely GORGEOUS on Sunday. The sun was shining, it was about 58 degrees and not too windy- just perfect for picture taking. My office manager and some other friends even texted me how glad they were the weather was cooperating for our pictures.
Our photographer was/is amazing. She made us feel so comfortable in front of the camera. At one point, she was yelling different words and we had to pose for her to snap pictures of our true personalities. Thus, the picture above: Ben acting as a gorilla and me walking like a penguin. We laughed so hard at that point in the photo shoot. She.Is.Amazing.
Jessica sent us 30-something pictures for us to choose from for our Save The Dates. So when I got them, I was so excited and happy to see how beautiful they came out! There was only one problem: I felt fat. I felt a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time, and that was really unexpected, ESPECIALLY since Jessica made the photos look so beautiful.
I feel pretty here and I felt super confident in front of the camera. Then I noticed my huge belly...
You would think that losing 79 pounds in less than five months would make you feel ecstatic about the way you look, even if it isn't your ideal weight just yet. Something came over me and I felt like a huge, fat blimp. So after looking over the pictures and deciding on my favorites for the Save The Dates, I closed the computer and picked up my devotional book. I hadn't read it in several days, so I just started reading.
It is amazing to me every single time how God just knows what I need to hear. Every devotional was about how God made you exactly how he wanted you and how you are perfect in his eyes. Or about how everyone has their own "running lane." Don't try and move into someone else's lane, stay in yours and be you. So that's what I'm going to do. Instead of looking at these beautiful pictures and thinking how fat I look, I am going to thank God for the opportunity to keep working hard and stay motivated. And thank Him for the blessing of having these pictures as a mid-way point to look back on after I've lost all of my weight. And mostly thank Him for creating the man in the pictures with me, who supports me and loves me no matter what, big belly and all.
SW: 311
CW: 232
-79 lbs
You look absolutely STUNNING. I know what you mean, about feeling pretty, then you notice what you feel like is a huge flaw, but no one else sees it. I don't see your stomach. I see your beautiful face, and how happy you are. I see how in love you are with Ben. That's what matters. We are our toughest critic, and we don't see ourselves how others see us.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you got upset! You look AWESOME!! I want to see moreeee!
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful in these pictures!!!! We are our own worst critics. I HATE the way I look in every picture of my chest down. So I understand how you feel.
ReplyDeleteBut....Do you know what I see in these two pictures? I see two people who look so happy together. I see a girl with really pretty hair and a big smile. (And a cute outfit!) I see lots of personality and fun. I see a super cute statement necklace and fun prop.
You look amazing! And I LOVE the gorilla/penguin pic! How funny is that!? So proud of all you've accomplished! Thanks for sharing your story :)
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely gorgeous in your photos and the two of you look so happy. I understand the "fat" feeling, but know that we are our own worst critics. Look at the amazing journey you are and how far you've come!
ReplyDeleteneat pics! you look fine. just look back at older photos to see :)
ReplyDelete