speechless.

This never happens to me.  I am hardly ever rendered speechless.  In fact, more times than not my mouth is getting me in trouble with someone, somewhere.  But this morning, I had no words.  I stood in the bathroom with my hand over my mouth from pure shock.

234.5

That's what the scale said.  234.5 pounds.  I wasn't expecting the scale to move much, if at all, when I weighed this morning.  It was a last minute decision before putting my clothes on to get ready for work.  234.5 pounds.  I spent my time getting ready and loading my things into the car wondering how long it had been since I had weighed 230-something.  I can't remember.  High school?  I'm pretty sure it was my senior year of high school that I was 230-something.  230-something.  Closer to 220-something than 240-something.  I have no words.

I got in the car and texted my mom before I pulled out of the driveway.  I kept thinking about that number in my head.  It's not my goal weight by any means, but it's a huge- HUGE- milestone.  I'm 27 years old and haven't been this small in nine years.  Before I knew it, driving down the road, tears were streaming out of my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.  And then I started laughing.  If someone saw me, they probably thought I was crazy.  Laughing while crying, what they had no idea were, the happiest of happy tears.  

Every difficult moment.  

Every craving.  

Every emotional breakdown. 

 Every insane workout.  

Every scale drop.  

Everything leading up to this moment, and I have zero regrets.

I am the most THANKFUL person today.  The surgery, once again, has proved to be the biggest blessing in my life.  I am healthy.  I will be able to have healthy children.  I can work out and not feel like I'm going to die.  I have energy.  I feel amazing.  I look great.  I'm proud of myself.  And today, I'm down 76.5 pounds.