100 pounds gone forever.

"You never know what's around the corner.  It could be everything.  Or it could be nothing.  You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain."  -Tom Hiddleston

I've thought long and hard about how I would write this post.  From the moment I hit my 75 pound lost mark, I constantly thought about getting to my next milestone and how I would feel when I got there.  

Well, that moment came yesterday.  I woke up, got on the scale, and it said "210.5."  So I stepped off the scale, looked around for a minute and then moved the scale to a different place on the bathroom floor.  Still 210.5. 

 For those of you who are new around here, my starting weight was 311. 

I HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST 100.5 POUNDS IN EXACTLY EIGHT MONTHS AND FOUR DAYS.

As my luck would have it, Ben is out of town for business and I had no one to take my "100 pounds lost" picture to put next to my starting weight picture.  I will get him to do that as soon as he walks in the door at the end of the week.  

I just want to be honest for a minute:  I'm in shock.  I know how hard I've worked for this, and I know how hard I've struggled with moments of weakness.  There have been times when I thought that scale would never move again, like when I was stuck at 224 for a month.  There have been times of frustration and sadness, times when I felt as though no one in this world knew how I felt.  Albeit those moments haven't happened for several months now, I've definitely had them.  There have been times when I shoved a Twix in my mouth and ate it shamefully, then felt like complete crap afterwards.  (Both mentally and physically... the sugar isn't so good for the pouch.)  There have been times when I've lacked the motivation to go to the gym and other times when I felt as though I had become a true gym rat. 

I've experienced so much in the past eight months.  But I can tell you, with 100% absolute certainty, that I have never, not for one minute missed my old life.  I have never missed driving through McDonalds and loading up on food I knew I shouldn't have.  I have never missed the days when the scale went up and up and up and I would think, "oh it's okay, as long as I don't get to ______ lbs then I'm fine."  I always exceeded those personally set limits of mine.  I have never missed being uncomfortable in my own skin, feeling ugly and like I wasn't worth anything.  I have never missed clothes not fitting me and having nothing nice to wear to events we would go to.  

I.DON'T.MISS.IT.  

I keep trying to find a way to celebrate losing 100 pounds, but I think the best way to celebrate is to just keep going.  We are going to the beach in two and a half weeks and I feel like that's ample time for me to get below 200 pounds.  I think my mark of losing 100 pounds is so close to being under 200, that I really can't get emotional until I'm in the 100-somethings.  Even if it is 199.  I thought I would cry and be so emotional about losing 100 pounds, but I just feel this overwhelming sense of pride and joy.  Sometimes, I look at old pictures and don't recognize myself.  It's difficult to see how I had let myself become that big, that overweight, that unhappy.  But it's gratifying and surreal to see the person that I've become.  

And I'm so, so incredibly happy and proud of that.  

One last thing before I go... 

THANK YOU.

All of you.

I have received countless emails, calls, texts, Facebook messages, etc... Some from friends, some from bloggers, some from complete strangers, all telling me what an inspiration I am to them.  The support and encouragement I've received from all of you mean the absolute world to me.  There are truly no words to say how thankful and blessed I am to have you all, and to have this blog as a platform to reach out to others.  Helping people is something that I'm passionate about, so seeing this blog reach so many people and have them in turn reach out to me... well, that truly makes this whole crazy journey of mine well worth it.

all my love, always.

-M

SW:  311

CW: 210.5

-100.5