I can't feel my arms.

Honestly, I'm not sure how I cooked dinner.
Or put my lunches together for the next week.
Or even drove home for that matter.

Remember my spaghetti noodle legs from last week?  I have spaghetti noodle arms tonight.  Gene The Personal Trainer kicked my butt tonight.

Biceps, triceps, abs, repeat.
Biceps, triceps, abs, repeat.
Biceps, triceps, abs, repeat.
Row 500 meters as a cool down.

Let me just tell you that this was the hardest workout yet.  I'm not sure if I thought they would get easier, but boy was I wrong.  I was sweating and struggling the whole time.  Just when I feel like I can't go on anymore, Gene The Personal Trainer always has these unintentional words of wisdom.  Last week he told me I was stronger than I thought, which really motivated me.  Tonight he told me that he could already see some definition in my arms.  Ten more dead lifts?  You got it!

And also, not to mention that I am DOWN 60 LBS.  That's right, minus 60.  And I feel great!  So I'm going to keep meeting with Gene (duh) and keep busting my butt doing those dead lifts.  And hopefully, the scale will continue to go down.

Happy, happy, happy.

SW:  311

CW:  251

-60 lbs

former athlete I am not.

My legs are jelly.  The gym where I work out is two levels and coming down those stairs made me finally understand the term "spaghetti legs."  But Gene The Personal Trainer is doing a fabulous job.  He had me doing weights, squats, push ups, dead lifts, etc... and rowing 200m on the rowing machine in between all of them!  It was tough today, but man I felt so good when I was done.

When I was doing box sits holding 25 lbs in each hand (I thought I was going to die, just FYI), Gene asked me if I, quote, "had an athletic background."   I almost choked on my laughter.  Let's just take a jog (because I can successfully do that now) down memory lane.

Dance-  cried every time my mom left me, quit.
Dance again-  the spins made me dizzy and the instructor was mean, quit.
Softball-  never tried because I was certain I'd get hit in the head and die.
Gymnastics-  scared of the pummel horse, quit.
Clogging- never tried because I didn't like the outfits.
P.E.-  was always the worst in the physical fitness tests, so by high school I was skipping.  aka, quit.
Twirling-  stuck with it for a few years, but there was really no physical exercise required, only hand eye coordination.  eventually quit.

So to answer Gene's question:   uuuuuhhhhh NO.  But I will definitely take the compliment.

I haven't weighed myself.  I don't want to get discouraged with the whole "muscle weighs more than fat" thing.  Gene keeps telling me to pay more attention to how my body looks and how my clothes fit rather than a number on the scale, but I just want the scale to GO.DOWN.  I plan on weighing tomorrow, so we will see.  I really like Gene.  He's funny, he pushes me (but not too hard) and he encourages me.  And he makes my legs feel like spaghetti jelly.

SW: 311

CW:  ???

we'll see.

personal trainers and running.

So I got a personal trainer.  His name is Gene and he is pretty fantastic.  I had my first session with him last night and felt really good afterwards.  He had me do four different stations of exercises:  kettle bell raises, behind the head triceps raises, mountain climbers, and 20 lb ball raises.  I'm SURE there are more technical, legit terms for all of those, but that's what I did.  After two epic fails of mountain climbers, he changed it to throwing the 20 lb ball at the wall and catching it as fast as possible.  I don't know about y'all, but 20 lbs is dang heavy.  We did each of those sections four times.  

He also had me do dead lifts with kettle bells.  We started at 25 lbs and went all the way up to 65 lbs.  I was SHOCKED with myself.  Impressed, shocked, proud, etc... I totally enjoyed the experience and felt amazing working out instead of sitting on the couch.  And Gene was supportive and totally understood my personality and feisty attitude.  

Not only did I handle the PT session well last night, but Gene gave me a regimen to follow when we weren't working together.  He told me to work on some machines (standing machines, NOT sitting machines) and he told me to do the track, alternating laps jogging and walking.  When he first said that, I thought there was no way I could jog a whole lap without passing out or dying.  But tonight, I did exactly what he said:  walked a lap, jogged a lap.  I did that for 6 laps, which is half a mile.  Which if you ask me is a damn good start for someone who has never ran anywhere.  I was so proud of myself for jogging those laps without stopping.  Ben was right there with me the whole way, pushing me and encouraging me and handing me water.  I think I could have done a whole mile just fine, but my knee started to hurt and I didn't want to push myself and not be able to work out later.  So Ben ran a few more laps and I did some kettle bell raises on my own, then cooled down.

For anyone who didn't see it, this was my Facebook status last night.  It sums up how I feel exactly.

I'm just so extremely thankful.  I don't think I ever gave myself enough credit for the things I could do.  I feel amazing.  Jogging tonight, I could see myself in the glass wall above the pool and I wasn't upset about what I saw.  I was confident and knew that one day I'd be able to run without stopping or walking in between.  There really is something about working out the changes your outlook, puts you in a good mood and makes you feel great.  And I just can't wait to keep going.

drop it like it's (not) hot.

Well hey there, how y'all doin!  (sometimes, in real life, I say that.  out loud.)

It's been a little bit since I've updated on my progress because, well... I hadn't really had any.  In all honesty,  I wasn't eating the best stuff.  It was still healthy, it was just more carbs than I should've been.  I tried like, 1/4 of a bagel one day and everything was fine, so I convinced myself I was all clear to have bread.  Aaaand wrong again.  The first time I had bread was at Subway on a freaking delicious sandwich.  It was like all my dreams had come true.  Okay well when we got home, I went into a straight up carb coma.  I couldn't stay awake to save my life!  So yeah, I guess the doctor wasn't lying when he said no bread ever.

The second time I thought I was ok to have bread was this past weekend at Ben's parents house.  My future mother in law made this delicious dinner with veggies and all kinds of healthy stuff.  So I figured having one tiny roll would be okay.  Nope.  Carb coma in full effect right on my future mother in law's couch.  For like two hours.  So needless to say:  LESSON LEARNED.  Which sucks because I luh-huh-huh-hoooooooooove bread.  Just another adjustment I will need to make.

I've also been promising a progress picture in my last couple of posts, so in case you missed it on Facebook, Twitter or IG, here is my latest progress picture.

 

I never, in a million trillion years, thought I would ever share my weight with people.  Ben, the one I am going to share the rest of my life with, never knew my weight until after surgery.  I was so ashamed.  And I could look at this picture all day long and still never figure out how it got to that point.  I mean, I KNOW how it got to that point because I was eating and sitting on the couch, but I just never saw myself as that size in the mirror.  But, those days are over now.  And actually, since I took this picture, I've lost 5.5 more pounds, so yay me.

 

Another venture I am taking on (along with work and school and wedding planning) is working with a personal trainer.  I kind of felt like Sami when I signed up for the personal trainer last night.  Like, what did I just get myself into?  It all started when I went to the gym like a good girl for basically every day in September.  Brett, the fitness manager at Gold's, emailed me and said he wanted to give me a free session as a thank you for being a dedicated member.  I've been interested in having a PT for a while, so I said why not.  Let me tell you... I went last night and he kicked my ASS.  My legs and arms are so sore today... I love it!  I was sweating and really feeling like I was moving and changing my body.  So I signed up for 3 months of personal training with some guy named Gene.  Apparently, Brett the fitness manager is super expensive and way out of my personal budget.  But I really liked him, told him I wanted someone to push me and kick my butt into a fantastic body, and he said Gene was my guy.  So tomorrow, me and Gene are going to get this ball rolling. 

 



 

I'm also back to eating LOTS of yogurt, almonds, protein shakes, and lean meat.  I am just trying. Some days are easy and some days are a struggle.  Last week I had a massive emotional breakdown to Ben because I felt so alone, like I had no one who TRULY understood what I was going through on a day-by-day, hour-by-hour basis.  So we are going to start attending the monthly support group meetings.  I had totally forgotten that they have those, probably because I didn't think I would need them.  Turns out, a little support would probably go a long way.

 

This is still the biggest blessing in my life.  I am really looking forward to the personal trainer and seeing how much my body changes in the next three months.  I gotta drop that fat, because it's so not hot.

 

 

 

SW:  311

CW:  256

-55 lbs