drop it like it's (not) hot.

Well hey there, how y'all doin!  (sometimes, in real life, I say that.  out loud.)

It's been a little bit since I've updated on my progress because, well... I hadn't really had any.  In all honesty,  I wasn't eating the best stuff.  It was still healthy, it was just more carbs than I should've been.  I tried like, 1/4 of a bagel one day and everything was fine, so I convinced myself I was all clear to have bread.  Aaaand wrong again.  The first time I had bread was at Subway on a freaking delicious sandwich.  It was like all my dreams had come true.  Okay well when we got home, I went into a straight up carb coma.  I couldn't stay awake to save my life!  So yeah, I guess the doctor wasn't lying when he said no bread ever.

The second time I thought I was ok to have bread was this past weekend at Ben's parents house.  My future mother in law made this delicious dinner with veggies and all kinds of healthy stuff.  So I figured having one tiny roll would be okay.  Nope.  Carb coma in full effect right on my future mother in law's couch.  For like two hours.  So needless to say:  LESSON LEARNED.  Which sucks because I luh-huh-huh-hoooooooooove bread.  Just another adjustment I will need to make.

I've also been promising a progress picture in my last couple of posts, so in case you missed it on Facebook, Twitter or IG, here is my latest progress picture.

 

I never, in a million trillion years, thought I would ever share my weight with people.  Ben, the one I am going to share the rest of my life with, never knew my weight until after surgery.  I was so ashamed.  And I could look at this picture all day long and still never figure out how it got to that point.  I mean, I KNOW how it got to that point because I was eating and sitting on the couch, but I just never saw myself as that size in the mirror.  But, those days are over now.  And actually, since I took this picture, I've lost 5.5 more pounds, so yay me.

 

Another venture I am taking on (along with work and school and wedding planning) is working with a personal trainer.  I kind of felt like Sami when I signed up for the personal trainer last night.  Like, what did I just get myself into?  It all started when I went to the gym like a good girl for basically every day in September.  Brett, the fitness manager at Gold's, emailed me and said he wanted to give me a free session as a thank you for being a dedicated member.  I've been interested in having a PT for a while, so I said why not.  Let me tell you... I went last night and he kicked my ASS.  My legs and arms are so sore today... I love it!  I was sweating and really feeling like I was moving and changing my body.  So I signed up for 3 months of personal training with some guy named Gene.  Apparently, Brett the fitness manager is super expensive and way out of my personal budget.  But I really liked him, told him I wanted someone to push me and kick my butt into a fantastic body, and he said Gene was my guy.  So tomorrow, me and Gene are going to get this ball rolling. 

 



 

I'm also back to eating LOTS of yogurt, almonds, protein shakes, and lean meat.  I am just trying. Some days are easy and some days are a struggle.  Last week I had a massive emotional breakdown to Ben because I felt so alone, like I had no one who TRULY understood what I was going through on a day-by-day, hour-by-hour basis.  So we are going to start attending the monthly support group meetings.  I had totally forgotten that they have those, probably because I didn't think I would need them.  Turns out, a little support would probably go a long way.

 

This is still the biggest blessing in my life.  I am really looking forward to the personal trainer and seeing how much my body changes in the next three months.  I gotta drop that fat, because it's so not hot.

 

 

 

SW:  311

CW:  256

-55 lbs