Is this even happening right now? I haven't stepped into blog world in such a long time. It's no secret that life has been extremely busy and hectic the past several, several months.
I am 24 days away from marrying my best friend and soulmate, which makes me happy in so many ways. But with that comes the never-ending stress of being a bride. I worry about everything. If it even remotely has to do with the wedding, it is something I stress about. People, things, events, RSVP cards (they are pre-stamped for a damn reason, people!!), PMS, being on my period during our honeymoon (I have a calendar which tells me so), tying up loose ends for everything, finding a cake topper, meeting with the cake people(!!!), buying a garter, do I need two garters(?), getting my hair to act right because I'm doing it myself, ditto for makeup, getting everyone at the right place at the right time for the rehearsal & wedding, pictures, etc... the list goes on and on. omg, just, Jesus. (this is how my brain works these days at every waking moment. and if you think I'm getting any kind of good sleep at night, you are the most wrong ever.)
I keep telling myself that 15 months of stress is way too much stress for a 12 hour event. And when we got engaged, I was totally kidding myself thinking it would be "easy and stress free" planning this wedding. I still have yet to figure out if it's just me and the fact that I worry and over-analyze every single thing and have my whole life, or if it's truly this stressful to plan a wedding. Maybe a bit of both, who knows.
I know one thing- I will be so incredibly happy when October 4th finally comes and I can walk down to Ben and finally be his wife. I know things will smooth out after the wedding and a lot of normalcy will return to our every day lives, but getting there truly is the hardest part.
With all that being said, I can't even express how grateful I am for the generosity of our friends and family over the past 15 months, especially my parents and Ben's parents. I know that with the amount of stress also comes this huge blessing; marrying my best friend, my soulmate, the person God truly made for me to be happy with for the rest of our lives.
I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world.
(p.s. I'm glad to be back. at least for today.)
