lesson learned.

There are a lot of quotes in the world about "haters."  And yes, I did just quote the rapper Wiz Khalifa.  It seemed fitting.  I've found myself throughout life saying "haters gonna hate!"  And boy did that ring true for me this week.  I've contemplated a thousand times over again whether or not to blog about this, and I decided that part of my whole journey is being open, honest and never changing who I am for anyone. 
Eleven months after my surgery, I found my first hater.  And to my surprise, it was someone who I thought was my friend.  Over the past week, I kept asking myself, who gets angry at another person's success?  And while I still don't know the answer to that, I know that this person is no longer in my life and I think we are both better for it.  This is not an angry post or a sad post.  I'm even disabling comments on this post because I know who supports me and who doesn't, and I'm not asking for reassurance.
I know this post is vague, and I'm sorry, but it's necessary.  I was hurt and this is the only way I can write about it without blasting another person on the internet, which I refuse to do.
After a lot of thought and prayer this week, I finally came to the perfect solution:
if you don't like seeing or hearing about my life  then feel free to leave. I highly implore you to click the little 'x' at the top right corner.  click unfollow.  don't click my name at all.
It seems like common sense, really.  But if I need to spell it out, then there it is.  I'm not for everyone and I've known that my whole life.  But this blog and all other social media, whether it be weight loss or wedding or anything in between, is for ME.  PLAIN AND SIMPLE.  I don't have to explain or defend that, and I never will again.  
For those of you who have continually supported me, emailed me, called me, texted me, left comments, facebooked me, etc... I appreciate you and have not forgotten all of the good that comes from this blog just because of one bad experience.  
I will NEVER change who I am.   I shouldn't have to. And neither should anyone else. I'm happy and at peace. LESSON LEARNED.

untitled just because I said so.

I'm in a funk. I'm trying to work my way out of it. In the meantime, feel free to check out some of these older posts. Also, at the bottom are some of my favorite blogs, so check them out too. Be back soon. Love, love, love.
SURGERY POSTS +Gastric Bypass Part I +Gastric Bypass Part II +Gastric Bypass Part III +Weight Loss & Progress +Before Surgery +Bikini Post

JUST FOR FUN POSTS +Target Haul +Reading List (I just finished a book from my list!  I'm starting on The Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks, so if you want to join me in reading, let me know!) +No Rules, Just Writing +The Journey & Steve Miller Concert
CHECK OUT THESE BLOGS +Allieology-  she's blogging every.day. in July. +Knock on Wood- a fantastic blog about all things life +Life by Nadine Lynn- I dare you to read her blog and not LOL. +Girl Brooks- blog designer and fantastic writer. +All Things Bold & Bright- sweet, funny and gorgeous. just, yes.

Target Haul

It's no secret that I am a total product junkie.  Over the weekend, I walked through Target for what seemed like hours.  I was out of mascara, so of course I found myself up and down every cosmetic aisle three or four  (or ten) times. I ended up with all these different products in my buggie (yes, in the South we say buggie) and figured I may as well do a blog post about it.  Most of these I had never used before, so I was excited to get them home and try them.  Here we go.  :)
1. Target Brand Cotton Rounds:  I love these things.  They are so easy to take off eye makeup, dab on powder, clean up makeup mess-ups, etc... love, love, love. 2. Neutrogena Naturals Face Wash & Makeup Remover:  I had never tried this before, but I was looking for a quick way to wash my face at night before bed.  I instantly loved the way this smelled so fresh and made my skin feel soft after I used it.  I will definitely keep using this. 3. Biore Ultra Deep Cleansing Pore Strips:  I have a very strong love/hate relationship with these strips.  They make my nose feel so smooth and cleansed after I use them, but actually using them is a true bitch.  Peeling that strip off my nose is pure.torture.  They hurt, but they work. 4. Maybelline Clean Express Makeup Remover:  I love Maybelline.  I use a ton of their products and I think the jury is still out on this one.  I've only used it once and I didn't have on my normal amount of eye makeup, so I'm not really sure how well it works.  We'll come back to this one later. 5. ELF Mineral Primer in Green:  I have been using a couple of different primers, but I thought I would try this one because of it's green tint.  I have a lot of redness in my cheeks and face, so this is perfect to neutralize that.  When I used it, it neutralized my redness a good bit, but my powder stuck to it so much better than my other primer's, which I loved.  You only need a tiny bit and for $6, it's a true steal.  I'm pretty pleased with this purchase. 6. NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Yogurt:  I am no stranger to the NYX brand and have had many of these pencils.  My only complaint with these is that if you don't use eye primer before you apply it, it will crease throughout the day.  They are cheap and last a long time and the creasing can definitely be prevented with a little primer. (most days I wear this to work and I don't even bother with a primer, especially since I wear glasses all day.) 7. Que Bella Lavender Relaxing Face Mask:  I haven't tried this yet, but I absolutely adore face masks.  I fully intend on taking a hot bubble bath with my lavender salts, bubble bath and slather this all over my face.  So we will have to come back to this later. 8. Maybelline Baby Skin:  This is extremely similar to Garnier's 5 Second Blur, which I love.  It truly only takes a TINY bit, which I of course learned the hard way.  If I had to compare the two, I would say the Baby Skin works just as well and covers my pores even a bit better than the Garnier.  Also, the Baby Skin is $10 cheaper. 9. Maybelline The Falsies Big Eyes Mascara:  You can't tell from the picture, but this mascara has a regular brush for top lashes and a teeny brush for bottom lashes.  The tubes on each end are smaller, so this may not last me that long, but it definitely made my eyes pop.  So far, I'm digging it. 10. Maybelline Mega Plush Volume Mascara:  I've used this before and it truly makes my lashes look thick and voluptuous. When I want that mega dramatic lash look, I use this on top of whatever normal mascara I've already used, especially at the base of my lashes.  
Have y'all tried any of these products? What are some of your favorite drug store/Target finds?

2014 Book Goals

It's not a big secret that I don't have a lot of time on my hands.  I keep seeing books that I want to read, or getting suggestions from friends or bloggers.  Nadine is always reading and telling me about her books, and other Nadine just posted this post about books she has recently been reading.  (with all the school work I have, you wouldn't think I would want to read for leisure.  but I do.)

Over the weekend at Target, I decided I was going to buy two books-  actual, paper books- in preparation for the honeymoon.  Yes, it's still 3 months away, but whatever.  These two have been on my list and if it weren't for ALL the other books I've bought and downloaded to my iBooks/Kindle app, I doubt I could wait to read them.  So I decided, that with all of the books I have just waiting to be read, I am going to make a goal for the rest of 2014 to finish them.  I'm not going to add any books until I finish all of these, so I think it will be pretty fun.

I know that Kay had previously done a Blogger Book Club that is no longer going on, but I love that idea.  It doesn't have to be formal, but if you'd like to read along with me, I'd love to discuss a book with you!  Just be warned... I can't be held to any timelines with my school schedule.  I just love to read.

SO.  With that being said, I am going to post this here and in a link on my NavBar so whoever wants can keep up with it.

CURRENTLY READING:

+Attachments by Rainbow Rowell

+ The Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks

BOOKS TO READ:

+The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty

+Graduates in Wonderland by Jessica Pan & Rachel Kapelke-Dale

+The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith 

(aka J.K. Rowling using a pen name)

+Looking for Alaska by John Green

+Paper Towns by John Green

+The Longest Ride by Nicholas Sparks

+The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. by Adelle Waldman

+Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver

+If I Stay by Gayle Forman

+My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick

+Four Divergent Stories by Veronica Roth

In case you are asking yourself, the answer is YES:  those are all books I have purchased and downloaded on my iPad but never read.  So here at the busiest point of my year, school in full force and 90 days until the wedding, I will just go ahead and set a book goal list as well. #multitasking What are you currently reading?

whatever wednesday. (aka, whatever I want to talk about today.)

I know Wednesdays are for Confessions or Weddings, but I've taken matters into my own hands and I'm just going to talk about whatever comes to my mind.  Thus, Whatever Wednesday.  Enjoy, kids.

• SCHOOL-  Ugh.  Just when I thought I made it through the last 9 weeks and was heading into the home stretch, the good ole folks over at University of Phoenix threw me a wicked curve ball.  (Twilight reference, anyone?)  I do all of my classes, exams, quizzes, projects, etc... online.  So imagine my surprise when I login to start my new classes on Monday and the entire online "classroom" has been redesigned and restructured.  Like, not a single thing was the same.  I had talked to my advisor last week and he told me to call if I had any question with the changes.  (I wasn't expecting "the changes" to be quite so drastic.)  So I call my advisor and, curve ball number two!, he isn't my advisor anymore because he's been relocated to a different division.  So Monday I did the ever so interesting online "walk through" for the new classroom and took notes like crazy to try and remember where everything I needed would be.  Tuesday, I tried to actually complete some interactive math work and all I got was a blank screen.  So I spent about an hour on the phone with tech support trying to figure out the problem, and by the time that was done I had no interest in doing any assignments whatsoever.  So I'm guessing I'm behind, but I'm also guessing I'm not the only one.  9 more weeks, Meighan... 9 more weeks.
• OITNB-  If you've been living under a rock for the past year, then I need you to crawl out immediately and turn on your Netflix account STAT.  OITNB= Orange is The New Black.  And that show, my friends, is amazing.  I watched Season 1 basically in one sitting when Ben was out of town one random Sunday and was instantly hooked.  So I've been dying to get into Season 2, but (shocker!) I haven't had the time.  So this past Sunday, I finally had some downtime to get back into it.  Once again, instantly hooked.  It's about a women's prison, so if you're a first time viewer just make note that there is lots of language and lots of sexual activity happening.  I'm not easily offended by television, but just a head's up for those of you who've never seen it and might turn it on.
• WEDDING- Lord have mercy, where do I begin?  We still have so much to do!  My bridal shower, the couples shower and my bachelorette party are set in stone, but Ben's bachelor party is still in the works.  We haven't finalized formal wear.  We haven't really touched base with any vendors because they all say we don't need to do anything until closer to the wedding date.  Which, if I'm just being honest, gives me some serious jitters.  I need everything finalized ASAP so that in the weeks coming up I will have nothing to worry about.  I have this huge list of things we need to do and it's made Ben a nervous wreck.  I told him over the weekend we were about to have to "kick it into high gear" and he just looked at me.  Like, yes, I'm talking to you... the groom.  Ha!  Men.
• FAITH-  I've talked about God's plan before and somewhat touched on my religious beliefs, but I never really thought my weight loss blog was the place to get preachy.  I've been worried about something personal for a while now, around a month, and my anxiety was just through the roof because of it.  One day, maybe a week or so ago, I just handed it over to God.  I can't remember if I was in the bathroom or the car or the shower, but it was a moment when I knew to hand my worry over to God and he would take care of everything.  Over the weekend I received an unexpected and wonderful blessing that took care of any worry I may have about this particular aspect of my life.  I'm so blessed and grateful.  Again, not to be preachy, but if you can't find the solution to your problem, hand it over to God.  He won't disappoint.
• WEIGHT LOSS-  Last but not least... I've been dreading coming to this blog just for this reason.  I know I wrote about the truth of onederland, and last week I did hit 199.  But only for one day.  I can't express how incredibly frustrating it is to get there, for one day, and then see the scale go back up.  Since then, I've been at 201 consistently.  I have been working out, at the gym and at home, so I know it's probably muscle (blah blah blah) and whatnot, but I want the scale to go down!  I'm going to work extra hard this month and try to get down to 185 by the end of July.  I'm not going to be disappointed or beat myself up if I don't reach it, but I like having something to work towards.  Funny story:  a lady approached me at work the other day and said, "are you Meighan??"  She had the most puzzled look on her face.  I told her I was and she asked me why I looked so different.  I said, "well, I cut off all my hair and died it blonde, and I also lost 112 pounds."  I went on to tell her the story of my gastric bypass and she said she had thought about it herself.  She told me how beautiful I was and how I seemed so much happier than when she saw me last.  And you know what?  I really am.

[p.s. don't forget to enter the giveaway!]