the last day of the best year.

Well, it's been just about 3 months since the last time I even came to this website or thought about blogging.  I've really, really missed this place.  So much has happened, and sometimes I feel like I could sit down and write a novel.  Other times, I feel like I have absolutely nothing to say at all.
But since it's the last day of 2014, I figured I might as well close out the year with a blog post recapping 2014.  Most exciting thing:  getting married!  But I'll get to that... :)
JANUARY:  We took engagement pictures with our fabulous photographer.  It snowed more times in 1 month than I can remember in a long time and I even got snowed in at the hospital where I work.  I reached a lot of big milestones with my weight loss, which felt amazing.
FEBRUARY:  My birthday!  I turned 28, which is damn hard to believe.  It's not old, and I don't feel my age most of the time, but I ask myself every single day-  where does the time go?!  I also took my first Zumba class and looooved it.  I also took my first BodyFlow class and loved it as well.  My time with Gene The Personal Trainer came to an end and I still miss him to this day.
MARCH:  I ran a 5k!  Okay, well I ran/walked it, but I didn't walk the whole thing and I ran across the finish line, so I definitely consider that a success!  I also went bathing suit shopping, which proved to be a huge form of motivation for me.  It also proved to be a huge WTF moment for my relationship with Target, because their bathing suits are made of paper.  Or something awful that is not fit for my body.
APRIL:  School was going well and I started another dreaded math class, which I ended up with a good grade in!  HUGE SUCCESS!  I wore shorts for the first time in a long, long time when we went to Six Flags.  I had a huge fear that I wouldn't be able to fit on the rides and I was happily proved wrong.  We had a blast riding the rides and eating the terrible amusement park food.  Our neighborhood also flooded and the water came this close to getting in our house.  Now any time it rains for a semi-long period of time, I borderline panic.  Oh, and I reached 100 pounds lost!!
MAY:  We went to the Steve Miller Band & Journey concert with my cousins, which was such a fun concert!  It was a last minute decision to buy tickets and I'm so glad we did!  My cousin and I took mini airplane bottles into the concert in our underwear and I still don't regret it.  I also started food prepping and even posted a picture of myself in my bikini.  To this day, that is still such a huge milestone for me.
JUNE:  My anxiety was amped up a few levels from school and wedding planning, I interviewed my now-husband about random things, got obsessed with the show Bob's Burgers, and even made it to one-derland. 
JULY:  I started some 2014 Book Goals which I haven't completed, but hey, there's time in 2015!  I did read some of them and should probably update my list, but whatever.  I also had a fight with a friend and wrote about it, which, even though it was extremely vague, I probably shouldn't have done.  You live and learn, people. 
AUGUST:  I only posted once in August and it was about an email that I received from a perfect stranger that I still think about today and keep up with on Instagram.  Some people come in your life at just the right time and leave the perfect impression in their own unique way.
SEPTEMBER:  I only posted once this month as well and it was about all the crazy things that go through your mind (or at least mine) when you're about to get married.  I don't regret a single thing about my wedding planning experience, no matter how much is stressed me out or pissed me off. (ahem, girl that works at my wedding venue, I'm looking at you.)
OCTOBER:  I GOT MARRIED!!  I haven't talked about it or written about it here, but you should know that it was the perfect day, with perfect weather, perfect people, friends, family, dancing, food, booze (lots of Moscato...), pictures, crying, more crying, crying with my mom, crying with my dad, crying while dancing with my dad, crying while saying our vows, crying with my best friend alone in the bridal suite before it was time to walk, more crying the happiest tears I will cry until I have a baby, which will then be a different kind of happy.  There were some hiccups, but thanks to my two amazing best friends S+R and my mom, I didn't notice a single thing.  Wedding advice for anyone getting married:  put two or three people you trust wholeheartedly in charge of putting out wedding fires.  This includes but is not limited to missing bridal party members, drunk bridal party members, missing family, people acting a fool, wedding vendor issues, etc... It was one of the best decisions I made.  I didn't have my phone all day and S+R took care of everything.  

M+B

October 4, 2014

We also went on our gorgeous, amazing, unforgettable honeymoon to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic in October and had five glorious days of all-inclusive fun. What was not fun was me falling at the pool, at the resort, in a foreign country, and dislocating my knee, as well as tearing all the ligaments in my knee, tearing part of my muscle in my leg AND chipping a piece of bone off my knee cap.  I've posted a little bit about this on IG and other social media, but it was a really, really crazy thing that happened.  I promise I will come back (sooner than 3 months!) and tell the story, as well as post wedding pics and some other stuff.  One thing I want to do in 2015 is keep up with blogging.  
Not a lot has happened after the craziness of October.  Being married is amazing and more than I could have dreamed of.  I had knee surgery and have been doing lots of (painful) physical therapy and today we are going to Nashville for New Year's Eve.  
Even on the bad days, life is pretty damn good.
Happy New Year, y'all. Cheers to an amazing 2015.
all my love, always. 

#3days

I'm getting married in 3 days, so technically I haven't had my wedding yet, but I figured I'd jump on the band wagon and start with a Wedding Wednesday post.  I can't promise that I will post every Wednesday with wedding stuff, but I'm here today, so that's a start.  ;)
I was talking to my mom the other day and it occurred to me that I never dreamed of my wedding when I was a little girl.  I just always had a pretend husband (Jay Barker) and lots of babies.  So I guess you could say I always dreamed of my marriage.  Even into my teens and early twenties, I always dreamed of being someone's wife.  Now that my wedding is planned and everything is taken care of, I am still dreaming about being Ben's wife.
There are so many things I could talk about from the past 15 months but at the same time, I have no words.  It's funny and downright ironic-  I, Meighan, have no words.  Ha!
All I can think is that this can't be real life.  Even after all the planning, the countless emails, the showers, the payments, the house full of gifts that continue to come in (we are so blessed!), the discussions, the excitement, the nervous stomach (oh yes, that is happening and has been a week long event), the bachelor and bachelorette parties (best beach trip ever), and the last minute preparation...   I still can't make myself believe that in three short days I will be Ben's wife.
The endless outpouring of love and support from family, friends, coworkers, bloggers, etc... has been amazing.  I'm once again finding myself surrounded by amazing people and I could not be more thankful.  There are no words to describe my love and appreciation during such a joyous time in mine and Ben's lives.  So thank you, thank you, thank you!
and with that being said...  the next time you hear from me I will be a Mrs!
like a river flows surely to the sea darling so it goes some things are meant to be take my hand take my whole life, too for I can't help falling in love with you

this is me rambling like a crazy person, because that's what I do these days. aka, wedding stress. aka, longest post title ever.

Is this even happening right now?  I haven't stepped into blog world in such a long time.  It's no secret that life has been extremely busy and hectic the past several, several months.
I am 24 days away from marrying my best friend and soulmate, which makes me happy in so many ways.  But with that comes the never-ending stress of being a bride.  I worry about everything.  If it even remotely has to do with the wedding, it is something I stress about.  People, things, events, RSVP cards (they are pre-stamped for a damn reason, people!!), PMS, being on my period during our honeymoon (I have a calendar which tells me so), tying up loose ends for everything, finding a cake topper, meeting with the cake people(!!!), buying a garter, do I need two garters(?), getting my hair to act right because I'm doing it myself, ditto for makeup, getting everyone at the right place at the right time for the rehearsal & wedding, pictures, etc... the list goes on and on.  omg, just, Jesus.  (this is how my brain works these days at every waking moment.  and if you think I'm getting any kind of good sleep at night, you are the most wrong ever.)
I keep telling myself that 15 months of stress is way too much stress for a 12 hour event.  And when we got engaged, I was totally kidding myself thinking it would be "easy and stress free" planning this wedding.  I still have yet to figure out if it's just me and the fact that I worry and over-analyze every single thing and have my whole life, or if it's truly this stressful to plan a wedding.  Maybe a bit of both, who knows.
I know one thing-  I will be so incredibly happy when October 4th finally comes and I can walk down to Ben and finally be his wife.  I know things will smooth out after the wedding and a lot of normalcy will return to our every day lives, but getting there truly is the hardest part.
With all that being said, I can't even express how grateful I am for the generosity of our friends and family over the past 15 months, especially my parents and Ben's parents.  I know that with the amount of stress also comes this huge blessing; marrying my best friend, my soulmate, the person God truly made for me to be happy with for the rest of our lives.
I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world. (p.s. I'm glad to be back.  at least for today.)

speechless.

I got an email from a complete stranger. It wasn't long, but it was probably the most incredible email I've ever received. Over the past year, I've been told many times that I am an inspiration to people who are trying to lose weight.  People who are trying to decide if they want to change their lives with weight loss surgery.  People who are getting ready for surgery and just looking for advice.  People who have also had weight loss surgery and can relate to my experiences.  People who haven't had surgery, but still struggle with their weight and body image.
This email was not about weight. It was about another personal experience that people go through.
Something that is a dream of mine in the very near future: motherhood.
This woman- this sweet, amazing woman- took time out of her day to write me an email asking me to please keep writing my blog.   She told me that I am a "light in her life and the lives of so many other women" and that I "give her hope."   Amazing.
I was rendered (and still am) speechless. (and y'all know that doesn't happen often.)
It made me think. You never know where you're going to find inspiration. And you never know when your story is going to inspire someone else. My words and the things I've been through have given someone hope. Hope for a situation that is much bigger than me and this blog. I can't even fathom the concept of that right now. I can't put into words how much that means to me.
I am not leaving this blog and I am never quitting my journey. It all means too much to me. You all- my friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers- mean way too much to me.
all of my love, always. always, always, always.

lesson learned.

There are a lot of quotes in the world about "haters."  And yes, I did just quote the rapper Wiz Khalifa.  It seemed fitting.  I've found myself throughout life saying "haters gonna hate!"  And boy did that ring true for me this week.  I've contemplated a thousand times over again whether or not to blog about this, and I decided that part of my whole journey is being open, honest and never changing who I am for anyone. 
Eleven months after my surgery, I found my first hater.  And to my surprise, it was someone who I thought was my friend.  Over the past week, I kept asking myself, who gets angry at another person's success?  And while I still don't know the answer to that, I know that this person is no longer in my life and I think we are both better for it.  This is not an angry post or a sad post.  I'm even disabling comments on this post because I know who supports me and who doesn't, and I'm not asking for reassurance.
I know this post is vague, and I'm sorry, but it's necessary.  I was hurt and this is the only way I can write about it without blasting another person on the internet, which I refuse to do.
After a lot of thought and prayer this week, I finally came to the perfect solution:
if you don't like seeing or hearing about my life  then feel free to leave. I highly implore you to click the little 'x' at the top right corner.  click unfollow.  don't click my name at all.
It seems like common sense, really.  But if I need to spell it out, then there it is.  I'm not for everyone and I've known that my whole life.  But this blog and all other social media, whether it be weight loss or wedding or anything in between, is for ME.  PLAIN AND SIMPLE.  I don't have to explain or defend that, and I never will again.  
For those of you who have continually supported me, emailed me, called me, texted me, left comments, facebooked me, etc... I appreciate you and have not forgotten all of the good that comes from this blog just because of one bad experience.  
I will NEVER change who I am.   I shouldn't have to. And neither should anyone else. I'm happy and at peace. LESSON LEARNED.

untitled just because I said so.

I'm in a funk. I'm trying to work my way out of it. In the meantime, feel free to check out some of these older posts. Also, at the bottom are some of my favorite blogs, so check them out too. Be back soon. Love, love, love.
SURGERY POSTS +Gastric Bypass Part I +Gastric Bypass Part II +Gastric Bypass Part III +Weight Loss & Progress +Before Surgery +Bikini Post

JUST FOR FUN POSTS +Target Haul +Reading List (I just finished a book from my list!  I'm starting on The Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks, so if you want to join me in reading, let me know!) +No Rules, Just Writing +The Journey & Steve Miller Concert
CHECK OUT THESE BLOGS +Allieology-  she's blogging every.day. in July. +Knock on Wood- a fantastic blog about all things life +Life by Nadine Lynn- I dare you to read her blog and not LOL. +Girl Brooks- blog designer and fantastic writer. +All Things Bold & Bright- sweet, funny and gorgeous. just, yes.

Target Haul

It's no secret that I am a total product junkie.  Over the weekend, I walked through Target for what seemed like hours.  I was out of mascara, so of course I found myself up and down every cosmetic aisle three or four  (or ten) times. I ended up with all these different products in my buggie (yes, in the South we say buggie) and figured I may as well do a blog post about it.  Most of these I had never used before, so I was excited to get them home and try them.  Here we go.  :)
1. Target Brand Cotton Rounds:  I love these things.  They are so easy to take off eye makeup, dab on powder, clean up makeup mess-ups, etc... love, love, love. 2. Neutrogena Naturals Face Wash & Makeup Remover:  I had never tried this before, but I was looking for a quick way to wash my face at night before bed.  I instantly loved the way this smelled so fresh and made my skin feel soft after I used it.  I will definitely keep using this. 3. Biore Ultra Deep Cleansing Pore Strips:  I have a very strong love/hate relationship with these strips.  They make my nose feel so smooth and cleansed after I use them, but actually using them is a true bitch.  Peeling that strip off my nose is pure.torture.  They hurt, but they work. 4. Maybelline Clean Express Makeup Remover:  I love Maybelline.  I use a ton of their products and I think the jury is still out on this one.  I've only used it once and I didn't have on my normal amount of eye makeup, so I'm not really sure how well it works.  We'll come back to this one later. 5. ELF Mineral Primer in Green:  I have been using a couple of different primers, but I thought I would try this one because of it's green tint.  I have a lot of redness in my cheeks and face, so this is perfect to neutralize that.  When I used it, it neutralized my redness a good bit, but my powder stuck to it so much better than my other primer's, which I loved.  You only need a tiny bit and for $6, it's a true steal.  I'm pretty pleased with this purchase. 6. NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Yogurt:  I am no stranger to the NYX brand and have had many of these pencils.  My only complaint with these is that if you don't use eye primer before you apply it, it will crease throughout the day.  They are cheap and last a long time and the creasing can definitely be prevented with a little primer. (most days I wear this to work and I don't even bother with a primer, especially since I wear glasses all day.) 7. Que Bella Lavender Relaxing Face Mask:  I haven't tried this yet, but I absolutely adore face masks.  I fully intend on taking a hot bubble bath with my lavender salts, bubble bath and slather this all over my face.  So we will have to come back to this later. 8. Maybelline Baby Skin:  This is extremely similar to Garnier's 5 Second Blur, which I love.  It truly only takes a TINY bit, which I of course learned the hard way.  If I had to compare the two, I would say the Baby Skin works just as well and covers my pores even a bit better than the Garnier.  Also, the Baby Skin is $10 cheaper. 9. Maybelline The Falsies Big Eyes Mascara:  You can't tell from the picture, but this mascara has a regular brush for top lashes and a teeny brush for bottom lashes.  The tubes on each end are smaller, so this may not last me that long, but it definitely made my eyes pop.  So far, I'm digging it. 10. Maybelline Mega Plush Volume Mascara:  I've used this before and it truly makes my lashes look thick and voluptuous. When I want that mega dramatic lash look, I use this on top of whatever normal mascara I've already used, especially at the base of my lashes.  
Have y'all tried any of these products? What are some of your favorite drug store/Target finds?

2014 Book Goals

It's not a big secret that I don't have a lot of time on my hands.  I keep seeing books that I want to read, or getting suggestions from friends or bloggers.  Nadine is always reading and telling me about her books, and other Nadine just posted this post about books she has recently been reading.  (with all the school work I have, you wouldn't think I would want to read for leisure.  but I do.)

Over the weekend at Target, I decided I was going to buy two books-  actual, paper books- in preparation for the honeymoon.  Yes, it's still 3 months away, but whatever.  These two have been on my list and if it weren't for ALL the other books I've bought and downloaded to my iBooks/Kindle app, I doubt I could wait to read them.  So I decided, that with all of the books I have just waiting to be read, I am going to make a goal for the rest of 2014 to finish them.  I'm not going to add any books until I finish all of these, so I think it will be pretty fun.

I know that Kay had previously done a Blogger Book Club that is no longer going on, but I love that idea.  It doesn't have to be formal, but if you'd like to read along with me, I'd love to discuss a book with you!  Just be warned... I can't be held to any timelines with my school schedule.  I just love to read.

SO.  With that being said, I am going to post this here and in a link on my NavBar so whoever wants can keep up with it.

CURRENTLY READING:

+Attachments by Rainbow Rowell

+ The Best of Me by Nicholas Sparks

BOOKS TO READ:

+The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty

+Graduates in Wonderland by Jessica Pan & Rachel Kapelke-Dale

+The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith 

(aka J.K. Rowling using a pen name)

+Looking for Alaska by John Green

+Paper Towns by John Green

+The Longest Ride by Nicholas Sparks

+The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. by Adelle Waldman

+Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver

+If I Stay by Gayle Forman

+My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick

+Four Divergent Stories by Veronica Roth

In case you are asking yourself, the answer is YES:  those are all books I have purchased and downloaded on my iPad but never read.  So here at the busiest point of my year, school in full force and 90 days until the wedding, I will just go ahead and set a book goal list as well. #multitasking What are you currently reading?

whatever wednesday. (aka, whatever I want to talk about today.)

I know Wednesdays are for Confessions or Weddings, but I've taken matters into my own hands and I'm just going to talk about whatever comes to my mind.  Thus, Whatever Wednesday.  Enjoy, kids.

• SCHOOL-  Ugh.  Just when I thought I made it through the last 9 weeks and was heading into the home stretch, the good ole folks over at University of Phoenix threw me a wicked curve ball.  (Twilight reference, anyone?)  I do all of my classes, exams, quizzes, projects, etc... online.  So imagine my surprise when I login to start my new classes on Monday and the entire online "classroom" has been redesigned and restructured.  Like, not a single thing was the same.  I had talked to my advisor last week and he told me to call if I had any question with the changes.  (I wasn't expecting "the changes" to be quite so drastic.)  So I call my advisor and, curve ball number two!, he isn't my advisor anymore because he's been relocated to a different division.  So Monday I did the ever so interesting online "walk through" for the new classroom and took notes like crazy to try and remember where everything I needed would be.  Tuesday, I tried to actually complete some interactive math work and all I got was a blank screen.  So I spent about an hour on the phone with tech support trying to figure out the problem, and by the time that was done I had no interest in doing any assignments whatsoever.  So I'm guessing I'm behind, but I'm also guessing I'm not the only one.  9 more weeks, Meighan... 9 more weeks.
• OITNB-  If you've been living under a rock for the past year, then I need you to crawl out immediately and turn on your Netflix account STAT.  OITNB= Orange is The New Black.  And that show, my friends, is amazing.  I watched Season 1 basically in one sitting when Ben was out of town one random Sunday and was instantly hooked.  So I've been dying to get into Season 2, but (shocker!) I haven't had the time.  So this past Sunday, I finally had some downtime to get back into it.  Once again, instantly hooked.  It's about a women's prison, so if you're a first time viewer just make note that there is lots of language and lots of sexual activity happening.  I'm not easily offended by television, but just a head's up for those of you who've never seen it and might turn it on.
• WEDDING- Lord have mercy, where do I begin?  We still have so much to do!  My bridal shower, the couples shower and my bachelorette party are set in stone, but Ben's bachelor party is still in the works.  We haven't finalized formal wear.  We haven't really touched base with any vendors because they all say we don't need to do anything until closer to the wedding date.  Which, if I'm just being honest, gives me some serious jitters.  I need everything finalized ASAP so that in the weeks coming up I will have nothing to worry about.  I have this huge list of things we need to do and it's made Ben a nervous wreck.  I told him over the weekend we were about to have to "kick it into high gear" and he just looked at me.  Like, yes, I'm talking to you... the groom.  Ha!  Men.
• FAITH-  I've talked about God's plan before and somewhat touched on my religious beliefs, but I never really thought my weight loss blog was the place to get preachy.  I've been worried about something personal for a while now, around a month, and my anxiety was just through the roof because of it.  One day, maybe a week or so ago, I just handed it over to God.  I can't remember if I was in the bathroom or the car or the shower, but it was a moment when I knew to hand my worry over to God and he would take care of everything.  Over the weekend I received an unexpected and wonderful blessing that took care of any worry I may have about this particular aspect of my life.  I'm so blessed and grateful.  Again, not to be preachy, but if you can't find the solution to your problem, hand it over to God.  He won't disappoint.
• WEIGHT LOSS-  Last but not least... I've been dreading coming to this blog just for this reason.  I know I wrote about the truth of onederland, and last week I did hit 199.  But only for one day.  I can't express how incredibly frustrating it is to get there, for one day, and then see the scale go back up.  Since then, I've been at 201 consistently.  I have been working out, at the gym and at home, so I know it's probably muscle (blah blah blah) and whatnot, but I want the scale to go down!  I'm going to work extra hard this month and try to get down to 185 by the end of July.  I'm not going to be disappointed or beat myself up if I don't reach it, but I like having something to work towards.  Funny story:  a lady approached me at work the other day and said, "are you Meighan??"  She had the most puzzled look on her face.  I told her I was and she asked me why I looked so different.  I said, "well, I cut off all my hair and died it blonde, and I also lost 112 pounds."  I went on to tell her the story of my gastric bypass and she said she had thought about it herself.  She told me how beautiful I was and how I seemed so much happier than when she saw me last.  And you know what?  I really am.

[p.s. don't forget to enter the giveaway!]

Happy Monday & A Giveaway!

Well good morning!   (or afternoon, depending on when you're reading this...) I am just popping in to say HELLO and I will be back around these parts soon. But to make your Monday super fantastical, I've joined some awesome ladies in sponsoring Living in Yellow and today is GIVEAWAY DAY!  Enter for some awesome prizes (hello, cash money) and start following some awesome ladies!

The Meighan Project VIP15 for 15% off ad spaces // Hello Frances //  Found Love Now What

Princess Burlap // Aka Chymecindy 

Landing On Love // A Moving Story // A Fresh Start On A Budget  // Simply In Bold

Rumor Boutique

Mata Traders // MATALIVESINYELLOW for 10% off

 Shop // Blog: Domestic Mama // LIY10 for 10% off 

Love and Whiskey // Use code livinginyellow for 20% off

Deloom // Use code LIY for free shipping

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck, lovelies!

there are no rules on this blog.

So I've been reading a lot of posts lately about "the rules of blogging."  I have to admit, I don't like rules.  Ben always laughs at me because he says I just "do whatever I want."  I drive too fast and I'm not really scared of cops.  I park at the airport in front of the sign that says "no parking."  And even though I don't do it on the blog, I cuss way too much.  It's not my finest attribute, but it happens.  So when I read posts about the rules of blogging, I have to disagree just a bit.
I don't feel like I should have to follow "the rules" of blogging.  Yes, I offer sponsorship and yes I have a sponsored blog.  No, I don't post every day, every other day or sometimes at all.  The "rules" of posting ____ times a week just don't apply to me.  Maybe it's because I feel that my journey is different than other bloggers. (not more important, just different)  Or maybe I just don't do well with rules.  Either way, I blog when I want to blog.  I promote my friends posts when they write something good.  Same for people that I may not know that well.  I want to inspire and encourage people with my journey, but I don't think I should have to dig around every inch of my life to find something to blog about.

Everyone is different.  For those bloggers who have time to blog every day or several times a week, that is awesome-  I love reading them.  And for those bloggers who have the creative mind to keep their blog interesting and eclectic every single post, that's great.  But it's just not my reality.  Sometimes I step out of the weight loss box, but most of the time I don't.
I love blogging.  I love having this amazing support system through all of the amazing readers and friends I've acquired.  I love coming here and having this place to share my struggles, my successes, my ups and downs.  I love the encouragement that I receive and the inspiration that I provide.  But on this blog, there are no rules.

the truth about one-derland.

my journey has been like walking down a path through the woods.  

walking, working, waiting, desperately trying to reach a certain point.  

below 300.  down 50 pounds.  down 75 pounds.  down 100 pounds. 

and then of course, the challenge of making it under 200 pounds:  my biggest milestone yet.

SO THE TRUTH: I did get into one-derland.  On Monday, I got on the scale and it said 199.0.  And I was ecstatic!  I was excited and so proud of myself for working hard last week, working out every day, eating the best I possibly could, and keeping myself motivated to reach my goal.
So today is Wednesday. My eating hasn't changed. I worked out yesterday pretty hard at Zumba with Molly. I haven't been eating late at night.
And today, I'll be damned if I didn't wake up at 201.0. What is that all about? I know, I know... muscle weighs more than fat. And I've been working out again, so I'm probably gaining muscle again. But like...  I really wanted to hit 199 and never, ever, ever go back into the 200's.
Let's be real for a second. What really is the difference between 199 and 200? Yes, I'm in "one-derland" but only by a pound. And, as we can see, for any given reason that one pound can come back just like that.
So I'm going to keep going. Keep pushing. And set a new goal. I want to be at least 170 by the wedding. Almost exactly three months away. I feel like I can do it. I can keep myself motivated and on the right track. Then I will truly be a one-derland member for life. Because I can guarantee that there is no way in hell I will ever gain back those 30 pounds once I get there. I'm not defeated.  I'm more motivated than ever.
So there it is... my truth about being in one-derland.   For one whole day.

so close.

It's Friday and I'm just about as excited as they come. Yes, because it's Friday. But also because I woke up this morning weighing 202.5. 202.5 people.
I am so close to one-derland I can taste it!  I know this weekend is going to be the weekend I see "199" or less on the scale.  I've worked so hard this week and the results are definitely showing.  Yesterday I had to go to the dentist and get my teeth cleaned, which I try to avoid like the plague if possible, and I also got my teeth whitened, which was pretty exciting/traumatic.  Having your mouth clamped open for an hour after they scrape and poke your teeth for an hour is just wrong, but I asked them to do it all in one session so I guess that's my bad.  My teeth were so sore yesterday and I don't handle mouth pain very well, so I went straight home (didn't pick up the wedding invitations like I had scheduled) and took a pain pill and went to sleep.  On the couch.  For the rest of the night.  So I was worried this morning that the scale wouldn't move, but it still did.  I'm the smallest I've been since I was 17 years old and in much better shape.  So fingers crossed that this weekend will be a celebration of a huge milestone!
Just a short post for today, but I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
SW:  311 CW:  202.5 -108.5

one workout DVD & two cans of squash.

shirt from Reebok

Lately, I've been really upset about the fact that I can't find time to go to the gym.  Last night, I went to the grocery store, came home and unloaded groceries, and then hit the gym for a Body Flow class at 7:30.  By the time I got home and food prepped for this week, it was almost 9:30!  I still had to shower and by that time there was no way I was going to get any school work done.  This also applies to vice versa situations-  if I come straight home and do school work, then I don't feel motivated to go back out late at night and workout/I miss all the good classes at the gym. SO.  I decided that, come hell or high water, I was going to make time for both.  I came home tonight and dug out all my old work out DVD's.  I ended up with a Jillian Michael's 30 Minute DVD that kicked my butt!  It felt so good to get my body moving, sweating and breathing hard again.  And I didn't even have to change clothes or get in the car.   #timemanagementsuccess  Unfortunately for me, I don't have any weights to workout with and I had never done this DVD before so I was super unprepared.  So I grabbed the first thing I could find for a little extra resistance and it just so happened to be two cans of squash.  I'm not even kidding.  You gotta make it work, people!

I've also been food prepping like a boss lately with fresh deli turkey, garlic hummus, strawberries and grapes, celery and peanut butter, and I even let chicken and broccoli cook in the crock pot over night last night.  I also discovered through an unfortunate bout of embarrassing gas, bloating and constipation that I am lactose intolerant.  So I bought some almond milk, some muscle milk powder, and a blender bottle and decided to make my own tasty smoothies every morning instead of going through Dunkin for their coffee.  And I have to say, I don't really miss it that much.  

I also have been talking about reach my goal of being under 200 for several weeks now and this week I am BOUND AND DETERMINED to get under 200.  It has to happen people.  It is time and I'm going to make it happen.  I was so tempted at work the other day to go find anything sweet and shove it in my mouth, but I stayed strong and didn't.  Old habits die hard, even after all this time, so I am really working on building my will power back up to where it was right after surgery.  Once life starts getting back to normal it can be difficult, but I'm definitely not giving up the fight!   Lastly, I figured I would share the latest progress pictures with you.  Even though I am 206.5, I can definitely tell that I am still losing inches.  When I put these pictures side by side, I couldn't believe how skinny my face looked!  It is still the wildest feeling ever. 

One-derland, here I come!!

Hope you all are having a great week so far! We are halfway there!

TA-DA! (again)

Well, well, well... what have we here? A new design? I think so.
Let me just tell y'all something.  If you need a design, want a design, or just want to look at some pretty design work, then you need to find Brooks ASAP and go look at her design site, Two Oaks Design.  I have had a few pre-made blog designs and a few custom designs, and in all sincerity, this one just feels like home.
Brooks listened to every.single.last.detail. that I wanted to keep and change about my blog, and if I wasn't sure then she gave her input, which was always right on the mark.  The turn around time was amazing and she made sure that my every need and want was met.  This girl knows her stuff.  I loved working with her so much that I requested one of everything she offers (see:  FB & Twitter) and even asked her to make me a media kit.  Which turned out fabulously, I must say.  So thank you, Brooks, for just being pretty much amazing in every way.  P.S. Come back to Alabama.  Thanks.
On a more serious note...  I didn't blog last week.   It felt trivial.   One of our best friends lost his father much too soon to a long and hard fought battle with cancer.  We spent a lot of time with their family throughout the week and it just seemed so much more important than anything else I had going on.  I'm not going to spill their business all over my blog, however I will ask that if you're the praying kind, or even just the good vibes kind, send some up for our dear friends.  They truly are one of the most amazing families I've ever had the privilege of knowing.  I would appreciate it and I know they would as well.
Have a great Monday everyone! It's Bachelorette night and I can't wait to see Josh Murray pop up on my screen! Anyone else have Josh M. as their favorite? (if you read the spoilers, you better keep those lips zipped!!)

shopping at the "normal" stores

Yesterday was a really amazing day.  We had Father's Day lunch with my parents and grandparents, and then we headed out to the Outlet Mall.  I looove the Outlet Mall, but in the past I never could buy anything.  I never could go into the Gap, J. Crew, Banana Republic, even sometimes Old Navy and purchase anything because I couldn't fit into even their largest sizes.

Yesterday, I walked into Lane Bryant, my usual shopping go-to store, and my world changed:  their clothes were extremely too big for me.  The fact that I am too small to shop in that store made me feel strange and like something was wrong, because for so many years, that was the only place that I could shop.  And honestly, at my heaviest, their clothes were getting a little snug.

I walked into Gap and bought a really cute orange pair of size XL linen shorts, as well as an XL shirt.  The last time I could fit into any size in the gap was when I was 13 years old.  (true story, people.)

I also found several things in J.Crew that I loved, but even at the Outlet and with the discounts, their prices are a little more than I'm used to paying.  A tee shirt that's half off but still $20 is just a bit too much for me.  (can we say Tiffany Tastes & Target Pockets?  that's me.)

I have been shopping at Old Navy a lot lately.  I fit into a size 16 pair of shorts and felt amazing!  So when we arrived at the Outlet and I saw the Old Navy sign, I almost had a fit!  The store was huge and everything was marked down AND on sale for at least 30% off, some things even 50% off.  I bought another pair of shorts, blue striped, and three shirts, SIZE LARGE.  I truly have no idea when the last time I could wear a size Large shirt at Old Navy.  Even just the comfortable fitting little cotton ones, which are the ones I bought yesterday.  

I still haven't made it under 200 pounds, which like I've said before is a result of my lack of time for the gym, but after yesterday, I feel amazing.  The weight loss aspect of my life isn't always at the forefront, but yesterday it definitely was, and in such a positive way.  I'm so thankful for the surgery, every single day, but especially on days like yesterday when I can feel normal, healthy and beautiful.  When I'm walking away from the long maxi dresses and heading to the short ones because I'm no longer ashamed to show my legs.  When I'm buying shorts and cute outfits from "normal" stores and feeling amazing in them.  When I no longer care what others think of my perfectly imperfect body.  Those are the times when I know God's plan for me is amazing, and that this journey of mine, even when it isn't about the weight loss, is on the right path.

Happy Sunday, y'all.  Thank God for your blessings and be a shining light for someone today.  

the world cup and just no.

I hate to disappoint all your World Cup fans out there, but I couldn't care less about soccer if I tried.  I realize this is an every-four-years-the-world-stops-everything kind of event, but I just can't.  The vuvuzela noise makers are my worst nightmare and people chanting and screaming the whole.entire.time. is just like, what is happening right now?  #exhausting

I feel ya, sir.

Okay, to be fair, I realize that most people don't understand the Southern traditions and obsession with college football.  No one understands why my mother about lost her mind when I set my wedding date for October, smack dab in the middle of football season.  Have y'all seen the ALFA Insurance commercial, with Sweet Home Alabama playing in the background, and the parents were upset because their daughter set their wedding date for the third Saturday in October?  Yep.  That commercial is basically the story of my life. 

But soccer?  I never have and never will understand why it's so popular.  And it seems as though the entire world (thus, the world cup) is all about soccer except for the United States.  Like, people shut down entire cities and countries when their team is playing.  I'm sorry, but it's extremely anticlimactic to watch people kick a ball back and forth for hours before someone scores a goal.  Yes, that one second of goal scoring is exciting, but like, three hours later?  zZzZzZzZzZzZz   Sorry, what was I saying?

Happy Saturday everyone!
And if you're into this soccer business, well, then Go Team.

[insert vuvuzela noise here]

another random post, with hashtags, for your Friday enjoyment.

So I woke up to this today and felt a little heart broken.  Can Jennifer Lopez please find true, everlasting love already?!  I really thought this was the one... my poor, Latina sweetheart.  #prayforjlo #thosedimplesthough

source: Us Weekly

It's Friday, as I'm sure everyone in the universe is aware of, and I could jump 20 feet for joy.  If, of course, I could jump 20 feet.  Maybe someday.  #keephopealive

The Fault in Our Stars comes out today and the fact that I can't go immediately from work to the theater makes me want to cry almost as hard as I will when watching the actual movie.  Shailene Woodley, the clay eating hippie fashionista, can do no wrong.  I need to be at the movies like now-ish seeing this movie.  Why are full time jobs a thing?  #thestruggleisreal  

My weight is fluctuating up and down 2-3 pounds lately and it's probably (most definitely) from the stress eating I've been doing.  Not necessarily eating bad, just eating more.  Plus, PMS.  I feel like my life revolves around the excuse of PMS.  Time flies when you're having fun always moody.  #breakoutthetamponsandtissues

Did I mention that I'm roughly 6 pounds from being under 200?  I've been trying so hard to eat right and keep my diet on track in hopes that they will come off, but not being at the gym and working out is truly making a difference.  I've got to burn those calories.  By this time next week, I need to be at 199.  I NEED IT PEOPLE.  #dropitlikeitshot

Also, my anxiety has been pretty bad lately.  I think once I have a break from school at the end of August and get the wedding over with, it will be a lot better.  But until then, me and my Klonopin will be sitting in front of any given computer 24/7.  (sidenote:  I wish my computer would stop trying to correct "klonopin" to "klondike."  Like, no.  I take pills.  Get it right.)  #pillsnoticecream #ormaybeboth

Happy Friday love muffins.

Do something fun this weekend.

an interview with my fiance.

So one of my new favorite blogs I've been reading more and more is Amanda at Peaches in Missouri.  She is the sweetest, she is a newlywed, and we've encouraged each other over the past couple of months during weight loss journies.  So when I saw the post she did interviewing her husband, I knew I had to steal it.  Thanks Amanda for letting me be a copycat today!

this should be good... 

I swear to you, this is how the interview started:

Me:  I'm going to do a blog post where I interview you.

Ben:  okay, sounds good.  (wasn't planning on starting immediately.)

Me:  So, Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant.

Ben:  I.Don't.Care.  Was that my first interview question?  Because if so, put in quotes, "I.Don't.Care."

Me: What is the name of my blog?

Ben:  uhhhhh GOD it's not The Meighan B anymore is it?  Is it The Meighan B?  Damnit.  I don't know.

Me:  It's 'The Meighan Project!'

Ben:  isn't that what I said?  Right?  I was going to say The Meighan B Project, but I said The Meighan Project.  Right?  That's what I said!

Me: What do I typically write about?

Ben:  ...your life, your struggles, and your weight loss.  Your life experience with it.  Probably some fashion design stuff every now and then. A little fashion sense... 

Me: What is the biggest change you've noticed about me since my weight loss surgery?

Ben:  Umm.  I would have to say your confidence in yourself and your body.

Me:  Aww that's a sweet answer.

Ben:  Well, I can tell you are willing to try new things and have more confidence.  And it definitely shows.

Me: What’s a popular fashion item for women right now?

Ben:  Clogs.  The eff if I know.  End quote.

Me: *dying laughing*

Me: Why do women go to the bathroom together?

Ben:  Petty gossip.

Me: What do you know about Pinterest?

Ben:  It's categorized pictures of nonsense.

Me: If you could have any job what would it be?

Ben:  *repeats the question several times*  Uh, probably a super hero.  With a cape.  And a cawl.

Me:  What would your super power be?
Ben:  *thinking* My super power would be... I don't know, that's a tough question.  Um.  Mindblowing.

Me:  Mindblowing?  That's not a super power...
Ben:  yeah.  I'd blow your mind.  AND, I'd control chickens.  Only chickens.  Kind of like ant man, but chicken man.  Wait, change chickens to penguins.  End quote.

Me: What’s the best place to shop for women?

Ben:  I'd probably say Ross Dress for Less.

Me: Like a woman's favorite store.

Ben:  a jewelry store.

Me: What does YOLO stand for?

Ben:  Yolo?  You Only Live Once.  I know that from Katelyn.  (my teenage cousin)

Me: What about OOTD?

Ben:  Out On The Dock.  Eff if I know.

Me: What is our favorite thing to do together?

Ben:  I would have to say... vacationing together.

Me: What do I do when I’m home alone?

Ben:  Blog, schoolwork, smut.  Probably torture the cat... 

Me: And what do you do when you’re home alone?

Ben:  Tablet, TV, video games.  I draw.  I just made that up.

Me: What is my favorite activity?

Ben:  I would say either social media, probably social media, or mani/pedi's.  (he knows me well.)

Me: What do women keep in their purse?

Ben: Uh, er... uh. Feminine hygiene products?  Their wallet.  Aaaand... makeup and lipstick stuff.

Me: What’s my favorite accessory?

Ben:  Your Coach handbag and your engagement ring.  Right?  Are those accessories?

Me: What celebrity would you let me have a free pass with?

Ben:  Justin Bieber.  So I wouldn't have to worry.  You'd definitely come back to me.  I'd be too worried about Channing Tatum or Justin Timberlake.  Maybe even 2Chainz.

Me: What celebrity would you like to have a free pass with?

Ben:  Oh, Jesus.  I don't know, there's so many.  Is that off the record?  Right now?  Right now... *thinking*  *sigh*  I would have to say Katy Perry or Eva Green.  Maybe Olivia Wilde.

Me: What’s an acceptable amount to spend on a makeup item?

Ben:  $1.25.  Or $3.50.

Me: What’s an acceptable amount to spend on a dress?

Ben:  Maybe about $200 for a nice, nice dress.  Something formal.

Me: What’s my favorite TV show?

Ben:  New Girl.  All the reality TV shows are all up in there together.  And Friends.

Me: Who is a current celebrity “it” couple? 

Ben:  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  Or Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber.

Me: Anything else you’d like to say?

Ben:  What's the question?

Me:  The question is 'is there anything else you'd like to say?"
Ben:  I'll be your huckleberry.  And I'm Batman.

THIS, my friends, is one of the many, many, many reasons I love this man.

He has me laughing and keeps things interesting all the time.

I hope you enjoyed the little glimpse into conversations I have with my fiance on a daily basis!

Happy Thursday!